Why Don't We Start Over?
by jennarod
Summary: Edward Cullen. Bullied for four long years in high school by his crush, Bella Swan and her family along with the entire Forks high school. Flip to ten years later and he's the CEO of a major business with the gorgeous body that has tattoos all over it. Can one simple high school reunion change his life all over again?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight and that makes me sad.**

_I decided to take down Forgive and Forget for many reasons. I had already been thinking about taking it down a long time ago due to the plot. I felt things were progressing way too fast. So I took it down, started writing this story and decided to try again on Forgive and Forget later. Thank you for all your support on that story and I promise the next time I try that one, it'll be better._

_I have been really thinking about this story for a while and was getting excited. So I'm happy to start this one. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 1

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I throw my hand on the snooze button, making the piece of shit shut up. Fuck that thing is annoying.

Not even a minute later, my phone rings making me groan in frustration. _I just can't get a break. _Rolling on my back, I grab my phone and look at the caller I.D.

_Alice Cullen_

Without another second, I slide my thumb on the phone and bring it to my ear.

"What," I say, my voice heavy with sleep.

"Well that's no way to greet your favorite sibling," she says with her voice that is a bit too loud for my state.

Sighing I sit up in my bed and touch the side of my lamp, making it illuminate the room. "You're my only sibling, Dear Sister."

"Exactly, which makes me your favorite by default. Anyway, it's 6:00 in the morning and from the way you're speaking I can tell you hit the snooze button which doesn't sit well with me. You said you'd be ready by 6:15 at the latest and you'd meet me at IHOP at 6:30, Edward," she whines.

"Alice, its Saturday. I've been working all week and I'm tired," I complain.

"Well you should have reconsidered becoming CEO of Cullen Corporation if you wanted to sleep all day Dear Brother," she taunts and God, I can hear the smug smile on her face. "Now please Edward, get up and get ready. I'm already at the restaurant so don't make me wait any longer."

"Jesus Alice, you're already there?"

"Love you too Brother."

She hangs up right after that and leaves me with the silence in my house. I plop back down and rub my eyes.

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I jump two feet in the air, startled by the sudden noise.

"Fuck!"

I grunt and grab the monstrosity, throwing on the ground once it's unplugged. After I get my heart under control, I walk to the bathroom and relieve my bladder of the pressure. I grab my toothbrush after I brush my teeth and squish the tube, making the minty toothpaste on the bristles.

After brushing my teeth and refreshing the taste in my mouth with mouthwash, I strip and step in the steaming water. The hot liquid makes my muscles relax and I find myself closing my eyes and leaning against the dark tiled wall.

The week has been busier than usual which makes me exhausted. I love my job, but being the CEO of a big business can really drain you. And to add to that, being lonely with nobody but a couple of close friends and a very loving family kind of sucks too.

I love my family. I love them to bits, but living in a big ass house like mine with no girlfriend or no friends that are even _girls_ gets to you. Theirs is nothing I want more than to find a girl and make her mine, but high school fucked me up big time.

Being bullied for being _too_ smart or _too_ skinny or _too_ antisocial leaves you with scars and trust issues. The only girl I have ever wanted in my entire life was part of the group that had made my life a living hell. Bella Swan was beautiful, smart and everything a guy could ever want. And although she never really did anything too me, she had laughed along with her friends when they had humiliated me and my sister. She was gorgeous, but she just didn't _care_ about me our Alice's feelings.

I grab one of the towels that hang from the rack and wrap it around my waist. I grab another small one, rubbing my hair with it and throwing it in the hamper. I walk in my closet, hunting for the clothes that i'll wear.

I decide to go casual today since I wear a suit every day of the week. Grabbing a pair of my boxer briefs, khaki cargo shorts and a black shirt I head to my bed and throw the clothes on. I take the towel off my waist and dry myself and quickly dress myself.

I stop for a moment after I'm fully dressed and look at one of the many tattoos on my body. This particular one is absolutely my favorite and most important. I rub the name and close my eyes, remembering the man that saved my mother's life.

_Carlisle_

His sudden cardiac arrest was exactly that… sudden. He had died two years after I graduated high school. Nobody was expecting it and nobody was prepared for it. He had saved us all from my real father. He had taken care of Alice and my mother Esme after the accident. I loved him; _he_ was my real father. He took care of me and he didn't care if I failed at anything. He was my inspiration and light and I owed him my life.

Alice didn't care that he gave me the title of CEO. She didn't mind at all and I was thankful for that.

I had already been getting tattoos before my father's death. I had a sleeve on my right arm filled with various tattoos. I had a neck tattoo that wasn't too flashy that poked out of the suits I wore at work and many tattoos on my chest and back. My left arm _did_ have ink, but not as much.

After high school, I was depressed from the bullying. I took it all; the beatings, the name-calling, the lunch room humiliations. I took it all for Alice. They had been bugging her, and when I came to her defense, it ended up in me having a black eye and split lip.

At least they left her alone after that.

And you'd never guess who kicked my ass. Emmett Swan. Bella's brother. The entire time I was being beaten, all I could hear was her muffled laughter and her weak attempts to stop him. The entire school, of course including Rosalie and Jasper watched and cheered him on.

Yeah, saying, "Stop Em! You're going to hurt him," and then laughing your ass off doesn't do anything. But of course I was blind and still couldn't Bella's flaws. Not on her body of course – she had none – but in her personality.

Senior prom. I made the mistake of even showing up and then asked her to dance. Rosalie Hale, Emmett Swan and her other friends all laughed in my face while her face was crimson red. She turned me down of course and when I turned my back I could finally hear her let out her laughter that she was holding in. After that night I was disgusted with her. How could people like that be so heartless? I had no respect for her and I didn't give her one glance. Not even at graduation when she walked on the stage and took her high school diploma.

I walk to my collection of car keys and pick my 2014 Cadillac CTS not wanting to be too flashy. I walk to the garage and press button, making the right larger door open exposing me to the outside. I jump in my car, starting it up and drive out making sure to press the button that closes the garage door again.

Its 6:41 when I arrive and I know I'm in trouble. Alice may be small, but I don't doubt she can rip me a new one.

I park my car and get out, tentatively walking to the double doors. The hostess greets me with a smile and wandering eyes, which make me uncomfortable.

"I have somebody waiting for me," I inform her with a forced smile. Thankfully she takes it genuinely and leads me to my sister how is visibly pissed. "Thank you," I say quietly.

Once she leaves, Alice's fake smile is right off and she glares at me.

"Its 6:41, Edward," she spits with a fire in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. Thankfully she rolls her eyes and huffs, but smiles.

"You're lucky I've missed you."

"Don't I know it," I mumble teasingly.

"Oh hush you. Mom wants you to come visit her. Seth and Paul have been asking about you."

I smile at the name of my adopted brother's names. Seth and Paul were adopted at the age of 4 and are twins. Now they're six and two little trouble makers.

"How are they?"

"Well why don't you come and see for yourself? Really Edward, you have a two week vacation for Christmas. Why don't you come early and visit?"

"I know Alice. I will. But not this weekend, I'll head over there Monday," I say while I sip on the orange juice Alice ordered for me.

Her face lights up in a huge smile and she bounces in her seat. "Yay! Oh my God I'm so excited!"

I laugh at her and turn my attention to the waitress that appears. We order quickly and are alone once again.

"Hey did you get the school email?" she asks. Her face is down and she has a hesitant tone.

_Um… I'm 28 and most definitely not in school._

I hesitate for a second and lift my chin a little before answering, "No… What email?"

"Well you know. The high school reunion. Ten year anniversary," she says with a small smile.

"Yeah…" I say, bobbing my head in fake interest.

Forks High School and everybody that went there can kiss my ass.

"Oh come on Edward… I think it'd be fun," she says, tilting her head.

_Holy shit, she actually thinks I want to go._ No way in hell I'll be going to that hell hole again. I never want to lay my eyes on those kids. And I'd think Alice wouldn't want to either… obviously I'm wrong.

"Alice are you serious? After everything they put us through? What they put _me _through? I don't think so. Sorry," I shrug shaking my head.

"Edward, just listen. Look at you. You're CEO of Cullen International Corporation, making you bloody rich. You work out every single morning before work making you all buff and stuff and your body is filled with art. Think about what the other kids would say. Think about the girls that would fall to their knees because of you. Bella Swan," she ends quietly.

My head snaps at her and I scowl. "Don't you dare say her name," I say tightly. "Look Alice, what they put me through is just too much to bear. And I really don't think showing off my money is a good idea."

"Edward, it's not about showing off your money. Think of it as revenge. Edward Cullen, the once skin and bones nerd is now the toned rich successful handsome man. The email said that the men had to wear something fancy like a suit, and women had to wear dresses or something close to that. Apparently it's another 'Senior Prom'."

"No," I say firmly.

"Edward, just think about it. Anyway, mom will probably force us _both_ to go," she mumbles.

I sigh and shake my head. After about a minute I give in to my curiosity, "When is it?"

Her head snaps up and she tries to hold back her excited smile. "It's Tuesday," she says.

"Tuesday? That's a work day," I say in disbelief.

"I know, stupid. But it is what it is. That's why I want you to take off and come and visit," she says with hope in her voice.

I lean back, crossing my arms and sigh. Going to see the people that made Alice miserable for a while did not sit well with me. And to add to that, they ruined me. I was depressed after high school and became distant from not only close friends, but my family as well.

But the idea of a high school reunion was something else. Really all I had wanted from them my whole life was an apology. Could this possibly be my chance? And then there's Bella Swan. Of course I didn't like her like that anymore, but I was genuinely curious to see how she had been doing. And the possibility of women drooling over me made me very uncomfortable.

"I can't," I say.

She narrows her eyes and glares at me. "Well _I'm _going. I guess I'll be alone and vulnerable," she shrugs and puts her head down.

_Fuck, she would be alone and vulnerable._

"Fine!" I say through clenched teeth. "God Alice, why do you have to do this to me? I saved your ass in high school," I say.

She frowns and sighs, "I know Big Brother. And thank you for that, but I have a feeling this reunion will go well." She grabs my hand and squeezes it, smiling reassuringly.

_**FM**_

Sunday morning comes and I wake up, starting my day off by working out for an hour in the basement, and taking a shower after.

I walk into my closet, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs and my H&M skinny sweats. I grab a pair of Nike ankle socks to slip on and slip my phone in the pocket of my sweats. After I'm dressed comfortably, I walk down shirtless and head to the kitchen.

Then my damn phone rings.

I close my eyes and sigh while grabbing my phone and looking at the I.D. I slide my thumb across the screen and greet them.

"Hey Jake," I say.

"Hey yourself pretty boy," he says loudly.

Here's the thing about Jake, he's gay. But thankfully he has no feelings for me and never has. In fact he actually hated me at first because I spilled my beer on him while he was drunk. We met at a bar. I was drinking my drink when he stumbled and bumped into me which caused me to spill everything on him. He wasn't too happy.

"Okay Casanova," I say with a smile. "What's up fool?"

"I'm coming over, that's what up. Hey, open your door will you?"

"Why? Wait – are you here already?"

"Why else would I ask you to open your door Einstein?"

I walk to my front door and open it. Sure enough, the prick is standing with his phone to his ear. I end the call and shake my head smiling.

"Fucking finally," he huffs. He pushes past me and walks to my refrigerator, grabbing shitloads of food.

"Jesus man, lay off the food."

"I'll be fine Edward. Who are _you_ trying to impress Eddie?" he asks with a smug smile.

"Can I not dress comfortably in my own house? It's hot as hell outside," I say casually.

"Alright, alright. No need to get nasty," he says teasingly.

I laugh and roll my eyes, following him to the living room. I grab the remote before he does and turn it on.

"Hey, Alice told me about that high school reunion. You're going right?" he asks suddenly.

"Unfortunately. Hey, do you know it's on Tuesday? Fucking Tuesday dude, the middle of the week," I huff and shake my head.

"No, you're talking about _Wednesday_ my Brother. _Wednesday_ is the middle of the week," he says. He picks up his coke and takes a long drink. "HUMP DA-" he's cut off with a large burp that's loud and long. He bursts into laughter after he's finished.

"Jesus man, you're fucking weird," I say, but I can't help the smile that appears on my face and the chuckle that escapes.

"Whatever," he says after he recovers from his laughter.

"You know I'm following Isabella Swan on Instagram?" he asks as he fiddles with his phone.

"Instagram? Isn't that for girls?" I ask, my eyebrow cocked.

"I'm gay you dumbass. And no it's not only for girls. Don't be sexist, boys have it too…" he says, looking at me like I'm ridiculous.

After a moment of silence I speak again. "How do you even know her?"

"Oh I'm friends with Emmett. You know, the guy who beat your ass?" he taunts.

I know what he's doing. Ever since my father died, my temper was ridiculously short. But when it came to my family and friends, I learned to control it.

My fists clench and he notices it, but thankfully doesn't continue his antagonizing ways.

"I met her through him. She's pretty cool. I don't know what Em and her were like in high school, and from what I hear they were total dicks to you, but they've changed I hear. I know Rosalie and she said that the two of them felt massively bad for bullying some kid. That kid being you. They don't know I know you," he says.

"Hmm," I say sounding like I'm not interested.

"Dude, Bella Swan isn't going to know what hit her. Look at you, all muscular and tatted up. If I were you I'd happily go to that poor excuse of a school. I'd show there asses what they were messin' with," he says smugly.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "It's not like that for me Jake, and you know it."

"Whatever," he murmurs, distracted by something on his phone.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of a camera on a phone go off and I snap my head in his direction. He looks at me, laughs and then runs to the bathroom and locks the door.

"Jacob, you fucker, delete that now!" I shout.

"You can thank me later asshole!" he says between laughs.

"I'm not kidding! Don't you fucking dare post that anywhere!" With that I walk back to the couch angry and throw myself.

Five minutes later, the prick comes back with a smug smile on his face. He throws himself on the couch and watches T.V wordlessly.

"What the fuck did you do Jake?" I ask. I sigh and rub my eyes, exhausted.

"Oh nothing, just posted it on Insta, showing everyone, _including_ Bella and Emmett Swan and Rosalie and Jasper Hale," he says smiling.

I jump off of the couch and glare at him. He never understood the depth of my feelings on this subject. What they did to me went on for four years and scarred me for life.

"What the fuck Jake?" I yell loudly.

He frowns, shocked by my anger and sits up. "Dude, chill the fuck out," he says shakily.

"You think that shit's funny Jake. It's not. You didn't have to go through all of that. You didn't get the shit beat of you just because you had no money to give the mother fucker. You don't know what it was like, so don't tell me to calm down." My stomach curls with anxiety and I run my hands through my hair.

"Okay, okay. Look, I deleted it. Right there, look," he thrust the phone in my face and I see it's nowhere to be found.

I look at him and shake my head. "That wasn't fucking funny Jacob. I'm serious. You don't know how hard it is, thinking about that shit. Really, you don't," I say quietly.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Truly I am man. But listen to me and listen up close. You're seeing the three of them and then the rest of Forks High on Tuesday. You need to suck it up and be prepared, because the amount of stress you have over this _small_ problem is probably not good for you," he says calmly.

"It's not a small problem to me. And I am trying to prep myself for this stupid thing. God, this is all a bunch of bullshit," I sigh and burry my face in my hands.

"Have you seen yourself lately? Edward, you are the fucking CEO of Cullen International Corporation, you fucking filthy rich. You're a handsome young man, whose healthy and built; the ink on you makes you look even more intimidating. Once they find out how successful you are, they're all gonna be jealous and then the joke's gonna be on them."

_Fuck. _He's right, but that doesn't change how stressed I am. Why the hell can't I get over this shit? It was years ago. Ever since high school, I've been quite and distant. It changed me; _they _changed me.

"I know it's all hard to deal with and I know you're nervous about Tuesday, but man, you don't need to be. You're stressing yourself over something that you don't have to stress about. Lighten up; the day is coming up and it'll be over before you know it," he reassures me and it actually works.

Sighing I lean back and watch the stupid show.

"I guess."

_**FM**_

"You ready?" Alice asks with excitement thick in her voice.

"Yep. I got all my bags and shit," I say with a relaxed smile.

"Okay, let's start putting them in the car…" she stops for a second and looks at me. "Can we take her?" she asks quietly with a pleading smile on her face.

"Fuck no," I said firmly.

"Edward, tomorrow is the reunion, we need to show you off! And plus I miss her. Please?" she begs.

"What's it with you and showing off our money and success? And why the hell did you give me such short notice on this stupid reunion?" I ask exasperated.

"You take Apollo and I'll take the Cadillac. Please?" She juts her bottom lip out and pouts, making me give in.

I sigh and rub my eyes, "Fine." Why is she always so difficult?

She squeals and run to grab the keys to my Cadillac while I grab the keys to Apollo, my Aston Martin Vanquish. Yeah, having money definitely has benefits.

I help Alice load the Cadillac and the hop in Apollo. I take a deep breath in and smile in contentment.

_Fuck I've missed this baby._

I start the car and pull out the drive way, pressing the button to close the garage door. And then I'm on my way to visit my beloved mother and two little brothers. And face the people that ruined my high school years and in some ways my life.

* * *

_Yeah, this is short, but I had to finish soon. Stay with me please!_

_Thoughts? Reviews are love! _

_Fanfic recommendation – _The Sure Thing, _by Maggie's Gutter_

_Edward Cullen has a date with destiny, and Bella Swan needs a ride home. Problem? These two can't stand each other. See what happens as they make the long trek from Dartmouth to Forks, while Edward is in hot pursuit of his Sure Thing._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still don't own twilight…**

_Much love to my beta, Kayla!_

_Thank you so much for the reviews and support everyone. It truly means a lot, which I'm sure you can understand._

_I'm trying to take this story slow and smooth, and not 300 miles per hour. So bear with me here!_

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 2

_Why the fuck is she always calling me?_

I slide my thumb on across the screen and greet my sister.

"What could you possibly want now?" I ask frustrated. She's right in front of me for fucks sake.

"I'm hungry," she says casually.

"Can't you wait Alice?" I beg her. I haven't even been with Apollo for two hours. And the pressure on my bladder is not going to make me stop just to take a piss. I missed my boy.

"No I can't. We can just stop at a gas station, I'm running out anyway. Look, there's a 7-11 right there."

"Fine," I say firmly before hanging up.

I pull to the right and enter the parking lot, parking my car as far as possible from everyone. Alice parks beside me and hops out. When she sees me sitting, she gives me an, are-you-coming-or-not look.

"Well, don't be shy. Come on brother," she says with a teasing smirk.

"You go, but hurry up; I have to pee," I say and I concentrate on holding it in.

Without another word, she rolls her eyes and runs off to the bathroom and to grab whatever unhealthy shit she'll get. I cringe in my seat as I look at the people eyeing my baby.

Attention to me was never something I cared for or even liked. Everyone paid attention to me in high school. Always throwing their food or pouring there milk on me. Really, they never gave me a break. They didn't show remorse, and I guess I am over it, but it still did something to me that changed me.

I jump when I hear a slight tap on my window. Turning to my left, I see a man that has his eyes glued to the car.

_Fuck._

I jump out of the car and take a deep breath, while shoving my hands in my pocket. He says nothing; just looks at the car and licks his lips.

"Um… Can I help you," I ask quietly.

"Hey, is that an Aston Martin Vanquish?" he asks, the excitement thick in his voice.

I turn around and look at Apollo with my hands still in my pocket. Turning back to him, I shift uncomfortably.

"Yeah," I say unenthusiastically.

He bobs his head and walks to my left, running his hands over the side. I'm quick to tell him that Apollo doesn't like that.

"Please don't run your fingers on it," I say. I give him my best, fuck-off look and he backs off. With an 'I'm sorry', he backs up and walks to his own car. I breathe a sigh of relief at the same time Alice comes back.

"Okay, you're good," she says hopping in Apollo.

"Don't hurt him," I warn before walking in the building.

I head towards the bathroom and quickly relieve myself. As I walk past the refrigerator, I realize how thirsty I am. I open the door and grab a bottle of Fiji water, heading over the clerk to pay.

After I pay, I make my way to Apollo and my sister. The music is loud and Alice is dancing while singing.

"Okay! Let's go! I wanna get to the boys and mom," I shout. She rolls her eyes and turns the music off before getting out of Apollo.

Without another word, she hops in her car and I exit the parking lot, with her behind me.

As I drive, I let my mind wander. Do I really want to do this? Am I ready to face my past and confront my fears? What if they don't even recognize me? That's something I hope for. In high school, I was probably the skinniest person in the school. They called me bones, even Bella referred to me as 'Bones'. I was the short skinny boy, with braces and a brain. The ultimate target.

Everything Alice and Jake have said finally sinks in. I _am _a different man. Of course I knew that, but I guess I didn't see the depth of how different I am.

The once bullied boy in high school is now the CEO of a major business company, with a big house, loads of money, tattoos and a toned body. But it all comes down to me just… not _caring._

Why does it matter, why _should_ it matter that I'm rich and handsome? Why does it matter how successful I am and how 'pretty' my body looks. My money, body and tattoos have absolutely nothing to do with them in my opinion.

I will admit humbly that I do have a good looking body, but when people oogle me and my car and my money, it doesn't make me feel very good. How do I know they're not just with me for the money and not _me_? In fact, if I'm being truthful to myself, it makes me feel downgraded. I don't want to be known as the guy who is CEO of a company and gets shit loads of cash. I want to be known as Edward Cullen, young man who loves his family and gay best friend. The man who loves adventure and nature, no matter how quiet and distant he can be. I want to be known as the man who loves and cares for everyone, who so _happens _to be successful.

I just want to be like everyone _else_.

_**FM**_

The marimba music that plays from my phone, alerts me and after taking a deep breath to control my frustration, I pick up the phone and answer the call from Jake.

"Is Jeff there?" I ask randomly, trying to mess with him.

"You can call me Jeff too, sweetheart," he says happily.

"Fuck you. What's up?"

"Where are you?" he asks curiously.

"Um… I told you, I'm going to my mom's house for the Christmas break," I say with a '_duh_' tone.

"No I know, but are you almost there?" he asks.

Now I'm getting suspicious.

"Well… yeah. Actually we're pulling in right now. What's up Jake?" I ask.

"Nothing's up, you prick. Gosh, why does something always have to be up? Anyway hurry up and get inside. I'm sure your momma's missin' ya," he says right before hanging up.

_The fuck?  
_I hop out of the car and walk to the Alice to help her with my bags. The trunk opens and I grab my backpack along with my suitcase and laptop bag. She grabs her three bags and we head to the front door of my mother's house.

"Oh! My boy!" Esme greets me. She grabs my face and squishes my cheeks together before kissing my face.

"Hi mom," I say sheepishly.

"What's your problem boy? Why haven't you come visit the woman who you came out-"

"Okay mom! I'm sorry. I've been busy and Port Angeles is far from Seattle," I argue.

"All the more reason to move closer! Now get in here, we've missed you," she ushers me in.

I nearly fall down when Seth, Paul _and_ Jacob fucking Black ambush me together.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him with a smile on my face.

"You need all the support you can get brother," he says with a smug smile.

"Eddie!" Seth and Paul say.

"What did I say about that name you little rats? If you call me that, I'll get real mad and you'll have to answer to the tickle monster," I say wickedly playful.

They look at each other before looking back at me, "Eddie!" They run away from me and I drop my bags before finding them to give them a loving greeting.

Hours later and it's already 7:45 pm. I sit with my mother at the kitchen table while Alice and the boys watch a movie and Jacob sleeps somewhere unknown.

"So, are you excited about your high school reunion?"

I look at her and sigh, "Why would I be?"

She frowns and shakes her head. "Because you should be," she says.

"Mom high school was a fu-," I stop when she gives me a bad look. "High school was a _freaking _hell hole. I don't know if you remember, but I'd give anything to forgot," I sigh and stare and the table.

"Edward I do remember. And I'd give _anything_ to rip there balls and boobies off if I could," she says, not affected by my weird look. "You need to show them once and for all that yeah, you may be rich and handsome and successful, but more importantly, you are more than what they made you out to be. My boy is more than a punching bag and they have yet to realize that. You were better than them during high school and you're sure as hell a million times better than them now," she says calmly.

"Maybe all that is true, but I'm having a hard time trying to believe that. You know what happened to me after high school. I'm not the same outgoing obnoxious boy I was back then. And knowing that _they_ were the reason for that kills me. If they had never humiliated me on a daily basis maybe… just maybe," I trail off but finish in a whisper, "Maybe me and dad would have been closer."

She gasps and blinks rapidly, "No, that's not the reason. Your father loved you and was heartbroken. He was pissed about your high school years. But it made him think no less of you Edward. He loved you; he loved us all with every bit of his heart. He would be so proud of how humble and amazing you are son."

I look at her and nod slowly. "I'm just really nervous. I wish Alice hadn't given me such short notice. She told me on _Saturday_. The reunion is _tomorrow_," I say worried.

She gasps, "Oh! I forgot; do you have a suit to wear tomorrow? It's a prom, so you need to dress nice boy, no buts and no I don't want to go's." she gave me a final look and grabs my hand to get Alice.

"Alice! Your brother doesn't have a damn suit!" she says in disbelief.

"Damn!" Paul shouts.

"Paul, we don't say those words in this house!" Esme says firmly.

"But you just said it mommy," he complains.

"That's different. It won't happen again son, now watch your movie. Alice, Edward doesn't have a suit for tomorrow!"

Alice gasps as she gets up and walks to me. She gives a 'Seriously?' look and smacks the back of my head. "What's wrong with you Edward? You didn't even ask for my help? I could pick the best suit for you!"

_What's wrong with _them_?_

"Well excuse the fu- frank out of me," I say. Esme and Alice look at me with the hands on their hips waiting for me to say it. "Okay fine! But nothing too flashy," I say.

"Well see," Alice smirks.

"Not tonight though. You'll have to go tomorrow since it's so late. Now go to bed, you'll need to wake up early! Tomorrow is going to be so big…" Esme went on and on while she went down the stairs until we couldn't hear her anymore.

"Go to bed Big Brother. Big day tomorrow," she whispers.

"Not really," I mumble.

She gets on her toes and kisses my cheek, "Go. Bed, now," she says with a smile.

I walk up to the third floor where my bedroom is and open the door. It's dark and I turn the light on to see where I'm going.

"Holy shit!" I yell when I see Jake sleeping on my bed.

He shifts still slightly asleep and mumbles, "Press the button for me will ya?" He says in his sleep.

I shake my head once I've got my heart under control and get my clothes for the night, heading to the bathroom. Once I've changed into my H&M sweats and brushed my teeth, I hop into bed. I try to go to sleep, but Jakes snoring is too much.

"Jake…" I whisper. "Jake." He gives me a slight grunt of acknowledgement and I continue. "Can you stop snoring?"

He stops thankfully and the room is silent.

"Thanks man," I whisper.

"No need to thank me," he mumbles incoherently. "Let… let me sing you the song," he trails off and the rest of the night is silent, filled with nothing but the crickets outside.

_**FM**_

"Get up, get up, get up!" Alice sings while Seth and Paul jump on the bed.

I turn on my back and look at the clock. It's 9:05 in the morning, which is to damn early. Tuesday, the day of high school reunion.

_Fuck._

Seth jumps on Jacob, which makes him fall off the bed. I laugh and high five Seth and then hop off walking down the stairs to get breakfast while I hold Seth horizontally in my right arm and Paul in my left. As I'm walking down the stairs I hear Jake yell.

"You little pricks!"

I set each of them on either side of me and grab three plates setting them in front of us. After I put two pancakes on each of their plates, I get up to get some watermelon and bananas. I get one pancake for myself and put butter on it before eating.

"You eat too healthy," Esme says. Alice nods her head in agreement and I roll my eyes.

"So what's on the agenda today?" I ask.

"I hate kids," Jacob suddenly mumbles as he walks to grab a plate. "Thanks mama C," he smiles and kisses her cheek.

"But you love these two don't you boy?" Esme says with her eyebrow cocked.

"Course I do!" He says loudly. He walks to Seth and whispers in his ear. "You're evil. But it's okay, I'll get you back."

"Momma, why is Jacob a prick?" Paul says innocently. I throw my head back and burst in laughter nearly choking on my food.

Esme gasps and points a firm finger at Paul, "You don't say that Paul. Don't you ever call anyone that."

"I was just wondering," Paul mutters with his head down. Esme shakes her head and smiles before leaning down to kiss his head.

"Edward, we need to talk. It's urbent…" Seth whispers.

"It's what?" I ask with a teasing smile on my face. "I think you mean urgent."

"Whatever. Listen, I heard you were going to prom tonight and I want to ask you something. But first, I'll be right back." With that Seth runs off somewhere.

I huff in confusion and eat my food. "When are we going to get my suit?" I ask. I'm actually getting excited, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm also nervous as hell.

"After we eat, me you and Jake are going to get you a suit," Alice says cheerfully.

"What does he have to go?" I ask.

Jacob throws his pancake that has syrup and butter on it, making my chest sticky. "You suck Edward."

"Shit!" I exclaim. I get up from my seat and walk to the sink, wetting a towel to clean my chest.

"Language Edward!" Esme yells while Paul laughs and Alice and Jake talk loudly.

I sit back down after my chest is clean and I throw away the pancake. I mouth to Jacob 'Fuck you'. He smirks and mouths back, 'No thanks'. Seth comes back and sits down. I turn to look at him and see he's wearing blue makeup and eyeliner that's at least an inch away from his eye.

"What are you wearing Seth?"

"Will you go to prom with me?" He asks hopefully. "Jake said this is how you ask people to prom… Please, I really want to see all the girls there. They'll be so jealous of me that I'm with you." He puts his hands together and begs me.

I turn to look a Jake and see he's tearing up from the laughter. "Oh – Oh God… I didn't think he'd," he stops when he starts laughing again. "I didn't think he'd do it!" He take a deep breath and wipes his tears while shaking his head. "Oh… I'm a genius."

An hour later, we arrive at suit store and Alice is going crazy trying to find me a suit.

"You're not coming to the reunion are you?" I ask Jake, silently praying he isn't.

"Nah. I'm too cool for that pussy shit," he pops his collar, acting arrogant and I laugh and shake my head.

"Edward! I found the perfect suit!" Alice grabs my hands and forces me to look at the suit. And perfect suit it is.

It's a black slim fit suit, with a tie that is black and has small white diamond like shapes evenly spread out. The handkerchief in the pocket is white and looks delicate. The black pants that go with it are slim fit just the way I like them. This suit is perfect for me.

But too flashy.

"Alice don't you think this is a bit too much?" I ask hesitantly.

"No! We're getting it, because I know you like it. There's no argument, so suck it up." She talks to the lady and they grab the suit, putting it in a long plastic bag. I hand her my credit card and she goes off to pay for it.

"Geez man. You're lucky you're so good looking," Jake pouts.

"Oh shut up. You know exactly how you look." He smiles and mutters ,'I know'.

I head to the shoes section once we have the suit with us and look at the many types of dress shoes. "Alice, you're good at this. Find me a pair of shoes please," I say smiling at her. She's having too much fun with this, but she's my sister. All I want is for her to be happy.

We end up buying a pair of black leather men's lift shoes in the end.

"You need to try on the suit really quick. Along with the shoes, I want to see how it fits." She says.

I grab the suit and shoes and walk into a big dressing room putting on each layer of clothing. I look at myself in the mirror and allow myself one minute to be self-absorbed.

The suit is perfectly fit and is snug against my body. My neck tattoos pokes out of the collar making me look intimidating and the tattoo on my right hand poke out of the sleeve. I have a slight and subtle undercut, but it's not totally shaved on the side and the hair on top of my head is messy but good.

I walk out of the dressing room and show Jacob and Alice.

Alice gasps and squeals while Jake crosses his arms and nods his head with a smile. "You look so fucking amazing Edward! Oh my God! The girls are going to be all over you!" She screams.

I smile crookedly and shake my head. "Thank you Alice. I couldn't have done this without you," I say quietly.

She walks over and hugs me. "Those kids are going to be jealous. And you may not like that, but when the time comes, you will like it," she whispers in my ear.

And although I won't admit it, I already like the sound of that.

_**FM**_

"You ready," Alice asks sympathetically. She rubs my arms to calm me down and looks at me worried.

"Yeah…" I take a deep breath and open my eyes. "I'm ready," I whisper. I sigh and rub Carlisle's tattoo.

She smiles and kisses my cheek before going to the rest of the family. She looks absolutely beautiful in a simple but elegant black cocktail dress and black high heels.

I look into the mirror once more and nod to myself. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I decide to remember the time in high school to try and make myself pumped.

_I was sitting at my lunch table ready my book, stealing subtle glances at Isabella every now and then. She looks beautiful, laughing with her friends. She catches me looking at her and I quickly look away, averting my gaze to my book._

_I look back up and see her looking at me curiously. Looking back down at my book, I notice the lunch room goes silent but don't bother to see the reason._

_Suddenly, my book is snatched from my hands and thrown across the cafeteria. I look at the direction it was thrown in and slowly look in front of me to see Emmett smirking at me. _

"_Looking at my sister huh?" he says loud enough so everyone can hear. Everyone in the entire school knew about the crush I had. _

_I stay silent, not wanting to admit it but not wanting to lie. He grabs my milk and pours it on my head. The room explodes in cheers and laughter. I look around Emmett and see Bella laughing along with everyone else._

_My right eye stings with a sudden pain and it takes me a moment to realize that Emmett punched me. "Stay away from her. Don't look at her, don't talk to her, don't breathe around her, don't even think about her. She could never want you. Nobody could ever want you," he says through clenched teeth._

_The last thing I remember hearing was Bella's laughter._

I open my eyes and smile lightly at my reflection. I walk to the living room where my family waits for me and walk up to my mom.

She grabs my face and smiles at my. She tightens my tie and pats my handkerchief before kissing both of my cheeks and shaking my head lightly. "You show them that you were never a punching bag. Show them what you truly are, my boy," she whispers. She brings my tall frame down to kiss my forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too Momma," I smile.

I walk to Seth and Paul and kiss their forehead. "You rascals be good for mommy and Casanova over there," I say pointing to Jacob who is stuffing his muscular body with pringles. He looks over at me and winks before laughing.

"Go get em' tiger!" He shouts, making Seth and Paul giggle.

I grab the keys to Apollo and kiss my mother's cheek. "Your father would be so proud of you son," she whispers. I smile crookedly and nod once.

I grab Alice's hand and hold it tightly, "Let's go back to high school," I say smiling brightly.

She laughs and drags me across the driveway to Apollo. I start the car and wave at Esme, Seth, Paul and Jacob, who is _still_ eating. Jacob subtly humps the air with his tongue out and wave's goodbye.

An hour later, we are in the parking lot in front of the cafeteria that I was humiliated so many times.

"Okay," I whisper to both me and Alice. She turns to look at me and takes a deep breath. "Okay."

* * *

_Next up is Bella's point of view! Hope you like it!_

_Fanfic recommendation – _A Pound of Flesh, _by jaxon22_

_To pay a debt she owes her father, Isabella Swan starts a new job as a prison tutor. Edward Cullen, with his own debts, is the Punk Ass inmate in her class. Can they fight the odds and their dangerous attaction to learn from each other? A/H, Lemons, OOC_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have and never will.**

_Much love to my beta Kayla!_

_**The first time I posted this chapter, something happened to the beginning and it was deleted. So I had to fix it of course. I'm really sorry!**_

_Like I said, here's Bella point of view. We get a little glimpse of what she was thinking when Edward was bullied by her brother. Let's see what she thought about little Edward then and now._

_Thank you for the reviews! Love you as much as I love them! Enjoy, and please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts whether it's bad or good._

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 3

"Bells! Get your ass down here, we have to go!" Emmett yells from downstairs.

Taking a long look in the mirror, I examine my body, making sure everything is how it should be. I sigh heavily before landing my gaze on my own eyes. I look at myself and go through a mental pep talk before going down to head to Forks High School.

I honestly have never been so nervous in my entire life. Looking back at my high school years now, I am ashamed and disgusted with my behavior. The last place I want to be is in that school with all the people that stood by with us as we discriminated him. The only reason I'm going to this thing is to apologize and beg for his forgiveness. It's the only thing I've wanted to do since I watched him walk to his car with his family on graduation day.

Edward Cullen.

He was the school target. He never got a break, and surprisingly, he took it all just to get us to leave his sister alone. Back then, I didn't have anything against him of course, but the last thing I wanted was to be seen with him. I never did anything to him up front, but I laughed with everyone when he was bullied every single time. Even when I knew he had a crush on me.

I never had any feeling towards him. But I found that as our senior year came to an end, I found the boy interesting. I still remember the first day of freshman year, when my brother was messing with his sister, Alice Cullen. He came to her defense which ended up in him having a black eye and nasty lip.

I was laughing then too.

I walk down stairs and greet my father, Charlie, and my mother, Renee. My mother covers her mouth with her hands and squeals, while my father smiles sheepishly.

"Oh Honey, you look beautiful," Renee exclaims, walking up to me and hugging me. "Make sure to say hello to all of your friends. Reconnect with everyone, be nice and… have fun sweetheart," she whispers. Slowly she takes a deep breath and brings her mouth to my ear, "Fix your wrong doings Honey."

She pulls back and gives me a small smile, nodding her head. I know what she's talking about, and she know that I know. She had been disappointed in me after she found out what Emmett, the Hales and I had done to Edward. It makes me feel even more like shit when I realize that it took me my own mother and father shaking their heads at us in disappointment to realize that what we did was so wrong.  
I turn to my dad and smile at him shyly.

After an awkward but loving side hug, Emmett and I are off to the school in our car. Tentatively, I bring up the very sensitive subject to Emmett.

"We need to apologize… to both of them," I whisper.

Emmett's face twists in shame and remorse. He nods and looks at me.

"I know," he whispers back. "Rose and Jasper said they were going to also. I just don't see the possibility of them forgiving us. What if they aren't even there?" he asks, getting worried.

"We have to try. If they aren't there then…" I sigh and shake my head, looking out the window as we approach the school. Forks High isn't very far from my old house. "We'll figure something out Em," I say reassuringly.

Emmett parks the car and stops it. He gets out and after a deep breath, I get out too. I look ahead and see people eyeing something on the left. As I look, I see a beautiful car that I don't know the name of.

"Holy shit, Em what kind of car is that," I ask.

He looks at the direction I'm looking at and gasps. "Fuck, that's and Aston Martin Vanquis," he says shocked.

"Jesus, I didn't think have of the kids in this shit hole could become that successful," I laugh and shake my head in disbelief.

"Swan, come on!" I hear Rose yell from ahead of us and smile as I walk up to her. "Well don't you look nice," she winks and turns to Emmett. "Hey Em," she smiles.

"Hey… Hey Jazz," he says happily. The four of us exchange brief hugs and walk into the building together much like the old days.

"Ok, so we all know what we need to do and who we need to do it to," Rose mumbles. She was never good with admitting her wronging's, but she still felt terrible.

"We need to do it one at a time too. Just to make it more valuable," I say. After we all agree, we decide to wait until we come across the both of them.

As we enter the building, we see a crowd of people. I can recognize most of them and then I can't with some. I turn my back to my family after informing them I'm going to get a drink.

I approach the table with refreshment and grab a can of Coke that's shoved in a bucket of ice.

"Bella!" I hear a familiar voice exclaim.

I turn around and my assumption is confirmed when I see Jessica Stanley walking towards me with Mike Newton.

_Here we go…_

"Hi!" I say excited. I am – really. Just not about Mike. I hug Jessica and turn to Mike to hug him, but cut it off short.

"Oh God, you look beautiful! How are you?" she asks, sounding genuinely curious.

"Oh I'm good. I'm working on a novel right now, just started actually. How are you though?" _Have you seen Edward around?_

"I'm good, I'm a nurse at the hospital around the corner," as she talks, I can clearly tell that Jessica has changed. She sounds more sophisticated and focused rather than the whiney boy toy she was.

"That's good to hear Jessica. I'm going to go find others to, you know, reconnect." After another hug, I walk away to find my family.

That's when I see him.

Not Edward Cullen, but a tall muscular man. His suit is slim fit and his undercut makes him look drop dead gorgeous along with the neck tattoo that pokes out of his suit.

I can only see his back, but I'm willing to bet all my money that this man is as beautiful in front as he is from behind.

I shake my head to rid myself of the very inappropriate thoughts. I decide to ask about Edward to people to find him and apologize. Just as I'm about to turn, I see a very familiar face.

"Angela?" I question.

The woman turns around and smiles brightly. "Bella!" she screams, jumping into me and hugging me tightly.

"Oh my God! How have you been?" I ask quickly.

"I've been really good. Me and Ben got married a couple of years ago, mom's babysitting," she says smiling.

"Oh God! That's wonderful Ang," I say.

"How have you been? I heard your writing is going good," she urges.

"Yeah, I'm working on a novel right now. I'm kind of procrastinating but you know," I say and we laugh together. I decide to ask her a question that's been bugging me the whole night. "Hey um… have you seen Edward? Edward Cullen… I need to – I need to apologize for everything," I say quietly.

She laughs in disbelief, "Really Bella? You haven't seen him yet?" she asks.

"No… why, have you?"

"Um, I think everyone has. You didn't hear?" she asks, the disbelief in her voice.

What the hell is it that I didn't hear? Oh God, what is it?

"Tell me. What is it Angela?" I ask quickly.

"Oh my God, I saw him and Alice when I got here and I've got two words for you honey. Holy. Shit. As for Alice, she is just… so beautiful. So energetic and sweet. We talked for a minute and God she's nice…" she smiles at the mention of Alice but it falls slightly when she continues, "But, Edward is really protective of her. He's really distant from everyone. I tried talking to him but… he wasn't really listening. I apologized to him. He said he forgave me but… you can tell we all left scars on him," she says sadly.

"I feel like shit," I say quietly.

"Well, we all do and rightfully so. But even though he probably doesn't like anyone here none of the girls can help but oogle," she says with a shy smile.

I turn my head towards her. What? Edward Cullen, oogled? I'm not trying to be a bitch, but last time I saw him, he was skin and bones, with braces. Suddenly, I'm dying to know everything about him.

"Tell me about him," I say tentatively.

She smiles at me weirdly before speaking. "You're not gonna believe what he does for a living…" she says with an excited smile.

"What," I ask quickly.

"He's the CEO of Cullen International Corporation. He's filthy rich Bella. And when you see him, you'll see how gorgeous he looks. Gone are those braces and no longer is he Bones," she says while shaking her head.

CEO of a fucking company, handsome. Jesus, he really got lucky after high school.

"CEO? Are you serious? And what does he look like?" I ask with an excited smile on my face.

"Putting his beauty into words would be an insult to him, because are no fitting words for his body. Here, let me take you to him," she says.

She grabs my hand and I take a deep breath before following her. Here we go, I'm about to see the man that I bullied for four years. I run a long apology in my head before we approach him.

_Hey Edward. It's me, Bella Swan. I just wanted to say that I'm deeply sorry for everything that I said or did to you. It was terrible of me and I am utterly disgusted with myself. I understand if you can't forgive me – I haven't even forgiven myself for it, but I just want you to know that –_

My thoughts are cut off when Angela stops our movement and I'm halted to a stop.

I look at Angela and she smiles before subtly pointing to the table to the right. "Right there," she whispers.

I look towards the table and that's when I truly see him. It was him. The man in the slim fit suit with neck tattoos; it was Edward Cullen. He stands by the table, visibly uncomfortable while Lauren Mallory talks to him. He holds a plastic cup of water in his right hand and that's when I see his tattoos that poke from his sleeve.

_Jesus Christ…_

_Jesus. Fucking. Christ._

I look at Angela and shake my head. "You're kidding me," I ask quietly.

She shakes her head no and gently pushes me towards him. I am left with myself and my drool as I realize the irony of the situation.

Edward Cullen had the biggest crush on me in high school, but I was to stuck up to pay any attention to him and when I did pay attention to him, it was only because he was getting milk poured on him or beaten up. Now here I am, ten years later, lusting over him.

After I reset my heart, I slowly walk over to him, each step agonizingly slow. I stop when I am a foot away and look at him with a small smile. Finally, he looks.

I'm met with a pair of emerald green eyes that steal the breath in my lungs. I hold his gaze for what seems like ages, until he looks back at Lauren. He smiles crookedly, nearly making my knees buckle. He nods at her and looks at me with a smile, holding up one finger, silently telling me to wait. I nod and smile.

"So yeah, I was thinking we could exchange numbers. Maybe go out sometime, get in touch again," she suggests seductively. Immediately I get worried over Edward's answer. What if he says yes? Of course I have no right to be jealous but God, I couldn't help it.

"Um… Yeah, I get really busy. I don't think I would have time to go out on a… date. Um… sorry," he smiles apologetically. Lauren looks at me and scowls before smiling at Edward to nod and leave.

He turns his head, keeping his feet still, and smiles tightly at me, nodding once in a greeting.

"Hi," I say, just above a whisper.

"Hello," he says politely. That's one thing that obviously hasn't changed. He's still polite as ever and formal.

I shift and look down before speaking. "Um… yeah, I don't know if you remember me but-"

"I remember you," he says quietly, with a crooked smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted you to know that I… I remember you," he says, looking ahead and taking a sip of his water and then looking back at me.

"Oh it's cool," I say bobbing my head smiling. "I wanted to apologize," his face visibly turns and the smile is wiped off his face. He looks anywhere but at me but it doesn't stop me. "I was such a dick and – and I'm so sorry. Truly Edward… for what it's worth, I am so sorry," I say. I don't realize it until I'm finished, but my vision becomes blurry and I feel the warm tear trail down my face.

Edward turns back to me and sees this. He frowns and shakes his head, "It's alright Isabella. Truly, I hold no grudge against you or your brother or _anyone_. Trust me, I'd rather _not_ dwell on the past… no matter how bad it was," he smiles reassuringly. I quickly wipe my tear off before nodding.

"So how are you?" I question. He laughs and looks at the ground before turning his frame to look at me. It dawns on me how tall he had gotten. His frame is wide but lean and he is obviously toned.

"I've been good… I guess. I don't know," he says, while looking at the floor smiling shyly. When he look back up, I give him a look that silently urges him on. "It's a bit… hectic. You get lonely when your family lives in Port Angeles and you live in Seattle," he smiles sadly.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me…_

"You live in Seattle?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says, sipping on his water.

"Me too," I say casually smiling.

He chokes on his water, coughing relentlessly. I pat his back lightly and look at him worried.

"Sorry. I was just… shocked. I hope you don't take that the wrong way. It's just a surprise," he says quietly.

"No… no it's fine. I didn't think anything of it," I squeak. I have yet to get over his beauty. "How long have you lived in Seattle?" I ask.

The smile on his face fades and he looks down frowning. "Um," he clears his throat and swallows, still looking down, "After my father died. Two year after high school. I took over the business," he whispers, I'm surprised I can hear him.

I feel like ten tons of shit after I hear him tell me about his father. "I'm sorry," I whisper looking into his eyes to get the depth of the meaning across.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault," he says, forcing a smile. I quickly change the subject, wanting to take him from his discomfort.

"So I heard you're the CEO of Cullen Corporations," I say smiling brightly at him.

He stares at me for a second before looking over my shoulder and slipping on his water. "Yep," he says quietly, His tongue pokes out from his mouth, making his lips moist and shiny. I stare at his mouth, entranced with him.

He clears his throat and looks at me uncomfortably. Suddenly, something comes to mind, making me curious. "Hey, is that your Martin Aston or whatever out there?"

He throws his head back and laughs hard. I watch I amazement as his muscles bob up and down. "Yes, that is my Aston Martin," he says with an open mouthed grin.

"_Excuse_ me, Aston Martin," I say while rolling my eyes. Edward laughs again and shakes his head while looking at his cup.

"Enough about my punk ass," my eyebrows rise at his expletive, finding it hot that the gentleman swears, but he doesn't catch it, "I want to know how _you_ are doing," he smiles.

I lift my head up to meet his eyes. His piercing green eyes strike me and my breath stutters. "Um, well I've been working on a novel. Nothing too big, but still trying," I say shrugging.

"That's good," he says smiling intently. "Do you like it?" he asks suddenly.

"Of course…" I answer. He nods and finishes his water, throwing it in the trash. "I like your tattoos," I blurt.

He smiles sheepishly at me before looking at his right hand. "Thanks. There's more under my suit," he says casually.

_What I wouldn't give to rip that suit off and see them…_

"I didn't peg you for the man with tattoos," I say.

"I don't think anybody pegged me to be anything like I am now," he says looking over my shoulder. His gaze falls on his feet and he sighs.

"How can you forgive us so easily?" I whisper.

He looks at me frowning. Shrugging he speaks, "That's what I'm asking myself… Looking everywhere in this school brings back terrible memories," he sighs. His face turns from sad to angry and he looks down huffing annoyed.

"I'm sorry," I whisper again.

"Maybe I was wrong to say I forgive you. When I think about it, it all comes back and – I can't help but be mad," he says bitterly. "Sorry."

"I wish I realized what I was doing to you," I say looking down. When I look back up he's staring at me angrily. He sighs and turns his head.

"You _did_ Isabella…" he says quietly, calmly. "You just didn't care."

I have nothing to say to his response. Thankfully Alice comes and greets Edward.

"Hey Big Brother," she says cheerfully. She looks at me and her smile falters. "Hi," she says quietly before getting on Edward's side and grasping his arm. "It's nice to see you again Bella," she says with a small smile.

Just as I'm about to start a long apology, I see Edward tense and lift his chin up. He shifts slightly so that half his body covers Alice's.

"Um… hi," a deep voice says. I turn and see Emmett staring at the ground, looking ashamed.

Edward gives his a short nod of acknowledgement. Emmett eyes Alice smiling at her crookedly. Suddenly Edward clears his throat loudly glaring at Emmett.

"How are you guys," Emmett asks with a genuine small smile. He walks slowly to stand by my side, making Edward tense further.

"We're fine," Edward says. His eyes are slightly narrowed like he's waiting for Emmett to do something, but I don't blame him. We've given him every reason to be on guard around us.

"I uh… I wanted to apologize. For everything I did in high school," Emmett says quietly. He manages to maintain eye contact, but I can see that the shame he holds makes it hard for him.

Edward holds his ground and stands still, glaring at Emmett while covering Alice.

"To both of you, Alice I'm sorry for… doing all those things to your brother. And Edward, I can't tell you how sorry I am," his voice gets louder and more confident. "I'm sorry."

Edward takes a deep breath and shifts from one foot to the other. "Yeah," he whispers while looking to the side and back to Emmett, "I… I'm not going to say I forgive you, but I'm not going to hold it against you or anything. It's over, but it changed me," Edward says.

Emmett hangs his head down in shame and nods slowly, sighing. "Well, I guess I can't beg for your forgiveness, but it doesn't change anything. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Edward mutters, looking around.

"Um, Edward I just wanted to tell you that I'll be with Stacey, I don't know if you remember her. If you need me – you know where I'm at," Alice says in a happy mixed with worried tone. Edward looks at her and nods. "Love you," she whispers before running off to her friend.

"Okay Bells, why don't we go find Rose and Jasper," Emmett says with his head turned towards me but his eyes watch Edward.

I look at Edward, seeing how uncomfortable he is. He shoves his hands in his pockets and turns so I'm facing his sides. I see his throat bob up and down as he swallows and he furrows his eyebrows.

"Actually, why don't you go? I'm uh… I'm gonna stay here," I finally say to Emmett. He raises an eyebrow at me. "What?" I whisper lowly.

"You can't stay here with him," he spits lowly.

"Still embarrassed to be seen with me?" Edward's voice is hard and clipped. "Don't worry, I can go somewhere else," he smiles tightly and walks away. I can't help but admire him as he strides so smoothly.

"Are you fucking kidding me Em?" I spit.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "I didn't mean it that way. He just seems… dangerous to me. I don't want you near him," he says calmly.

"You never did Emmett. But this time I don't care," I yell.

"If I remember correctly Bella, you didn't want to be seen with him yourself. So don't put my past on me when you're no better," he yells. I can't respond because I know that he's right. So I run after Edward, who had just exited the building.

I storm past the double doors and call after him, "Edward wait!"

He slowly turns around, obviously trying to be calm and polite. "Yes?"

"He didn't mean it like that," I say quickly, standing in front of him.

"That's fine. It doesn't matter to me," he says smiling at me tightly.

But I can see that it matters. Everyone can see how much it matters to Edward. Every time high school is brought up, I can see the pain and suffering in his eyes. I can see how uncomfortable he gets when talking about it. Hell, I can see it in him when we simply talk about _him._

I sigh and lean against the brick wall next to him. "We really are sorry Edward," I whisper.

"I know. And I appreciate that, but I don't know… I don't know _how _to forgive you Isabella," he says frustrated.

"Call me Bella. All my friends call me that," I say smiling lightly at him.

He looks at me and then at the floor. "I'm not your friend," he whispers.

The smile is wiped off my face and I look down. "I'm not embarrassed to be around you Edward. You can be my friend and nobody would say anything to me," I say, lifting my head up to meet his eyes.

Finally he looks at me and shakes his head. "I know that. I just don't…" he trails off and sighs, clenching his eyes shut.

"What is it?"

"Nothing I," he laughs bitterly without humor. "I shouldn't say anything," he says with a bitter smile on his face.

"You can tell me."

He looks at me and after I silently urge him to say what he needs to say, he speaks, "I… I don't," he sighs and shakes his head. "I don't think I _want_… to be your friend," he says quietly.

My helpful smile falls and I stare at him as he looks into my eyes. The rejection I feel is ridiculously painful and it saddens me to know that I can't even have this man as a friend. This is what I get though; every time I laughed at him and rejected him simply for my reputation, he was feeling like a nobody.

"Well I guess I don't expect you to want to be my friend. But I just want you to know that I _am_ sorry. I never paid your feelings attention and instead I stood around and laughed with everyone," I say quickly.

"Stop," he says, his voice pained.

"No Edward, you need to hear this. Maybe I'm just being selfish yet again but you need to listen. I'm sorry for ruining your entire high school life," he shakes his head and closes his eyes, "I'm sorry for humiliating you at prom, and I'm sorry for hurting you when I knew you liked me. I ruined you and I'm sorry," I finish quietly.

He stays silent and stares at the floor with a blank expression. I'm about to speak again, but he beats me to it. "You never even considered the possibility that… that I had problems. Serious problems regarding my family," he whispers slowly.

_Holy fuck, _I think to myself. I didn't… what if he was… beaten as a boy? What if a relative had died? The possibilities are endless. I never once considered him at all.

_Oh fuck…_

"Why did you do it?" he says so quietly I barely can hear him. "You don't know what it felt like to sit alone at a lunch table knowing that people are staring at you like you're a fucking alien, or to get the shit beat out of you just because you're _you_."

I take a deep breath and swallow, trying to accept everything he says. He's giving me a look from his perspective from all those years before, I need to listen.

"You don't know how… _bad_ I felt about myself. You don't know how useless, how – how _weak_ I felt. When your brother beat me up and then seeing you laughing with everyone when you _knew_ how I felt about you," he sighs and shakes his head slowly. "Whatever. I don't even know why I'm saying this stuff," he sighs and looks at me smiling sadly. "Why are you here?"

I stare at him for a second, getting lost in his beautiful green eyes. I shake my head gently and answer his question, "I just wanted to talk to you. You're fun… to talk to I mean," I say quietly, choosing my words carefully.

He scoffs and smiles at me tightly. "Listen, I don't mean to be rude, honestly, but if you want to see my car or house or know how much I get paid it's a no," he says with his head down.

I throw my head back and laugh, "I don't want to see your pretty car Edward... Why are you so humble about your success?"

"I don't know. It makes me feel like a toy or something. When people ask what kind of car I have or how big my house is. I just don't see why it matters, it's just a car," he laughs lightly while I stare at him with a small smile in awe.

"That's very… I don't know that's really cool of you, to be so successful and not rub it in every body's face," I give him a wide smile and nod.

He looks at me and laughs throw his nose. We stare in each other's eyes for a moment silently. He looks down, "You look more mature. I don't mean to insult you or anything but, you look like a woman." He laughs and nods his head.

"Well I could say how different you look but that would take me forever," his face breaks into a wide smile and he laughs loudly. "Your tattoos are beautiful," I say in awe.

I step forward a little, getting a better look at his neck. It's not entirely filled with ink, but the art on it is remarkable. There's an eagle on the side of his neck with its wing open, going behind his ear. On the other side of his neck, there's a dragon with fire spreading stopping a little before the middle of his throat. And on his throat he had three Chinese symbols going from up to down.

I looked down at his hands and tentatively grab it, bringing it close to my face. On the back of his palm, there are stems with thorns on them coming from under his sleeve. On his middle fine, there is a small tattoo of a lion. Its mane is blowing to the side and his teeth are bared.

"These are beautiful," I say quietly, admiring the lion.

"Thank you," he says quietly. I caress the lion on his finger, focusing on how smooth his skin is. I look up and he stares at the lion smiling slightly.

He takes out his phone and I see his black iPhone. "Which one is that?" I ask eyeing it.

"Five S," he says quietly. "It's getting late… I should go," he says. "Alice is getting a ride with Stacey so…" he trails off bobbing his head with a small smile.

My heart starts beating wildly at the mention of him leaving. I can't just let him walk way, I just got him. Well, I don't _have_ him, but… My mind races with ways to get him to stay for awhile longer or to stay with him in some way.

"It was nice seeing you, Isabella," he whispers.

"Yeah, It was nice seeing you too, Edward," I blurt.

_Fuck! What do I do?_

He turns around and walks towards his car slowly. I can't move but my mind is going a mile a minute. He gets to his car and unlocks the door. Just as he's about to get in, I gather the courage to get him.

"Edward!" I scream, walking fast to him.

He stands with on hand on the door and the other on the roof of his car. He smiles and lifts his head silently asking me what's up.

"Do you want to go get some pizza or something?" I ask quietly, keeping eye contact.

His smile falters a bit, but he looks from one eye to the other. Left-right-left-right. He's quiet for a moment and my heart beats in anticipation.

"Just as friends, I don't want to push you into anything," I say quickly.

He takes a deep breath and finally answers, "O-Okay… I guess. I haven't eaten anyway. Um… you wanna ride with me?" he asks slowly.

It takes all that I am to suppress the wide smile that's threatening to appear on my face.

"Yeah sure, I'll just text Emmett and tell him where I'm at," I say grabbing my phone.

Edward walks around his door coming to me. He puts his hand on my arm and guides me to the passenger door. He opens the door for me and closes it once I'm in.

The amount of gentleness and politeness in this man is baffling. I have never met anyone who holds back when wanting to say something mean, no matter how bad the urge is. I have never met anyone with such a soothing and calming voice. Edward is one of a kind, and I hate myself for treating him like I did.

I look around the car and take in a deep breath. It smells heavenly, so fresh and clean. The black leather seats are smooth and comfortable, making me sink into it. There are no cans or bottles in the cup holders and the car is spotless and shiny clean.

"Where to Isabella?" he says; his voice suddenly happy and chipper. It relaxes me and makes me smile brightly.

"There's that pizza place everyone used to go to. I think it was called Mario's Pizza. Do you know where it is?"

He smiles and nods his head, "Mario's it is."

I listen to the gentle music, letting it relax me. I smile, embracing the fact that I'm with Edward Cullen; the polite gentlemen who has so kindly taken my offer on pizza. The drive on the way to Mario's is silent but surprisingly not awkward. I decide to let go of all my regrets tonight and just talk freely with him.

As I watch the trees go by, I make a promise to myself that I will pay my debts and fix my mess. I will make Edward forgive me. No matter how hard or long it will take, it's my biggest regret and I _will _fix it if it's the last thing I do.

* * *

_So there's chapter three, I hope you like it. After today, my schedule will be very packed and I won't be updating as much. I will try to get in as many as possible, but in advanced I'm sorry! _

_Fanfic recommendation – _Hit by Destiny, _by ocdmess._

_Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…**

_Much love to my beta Kayla – MissRainbow13_

_I'm really sorry for not being able to update often, like I said my schedule makes me exhausted. I won't be able to update other than Saturday; I have marching band practice from 7am to 5pm and it makes me so tired._

_But here's chapter four! This is Edward's perspective of everything._

_Enjoy and much love._

* * *

Chapter 4

The ride to Mario's Pizza was surprisingly comfortable. We weren't talking like we had been best friends since we came out of the womb, but it was just… _not_ awkward. She kept looking out the window with a smile on her face and occasionally turning to look at me.

I knew that what we were doing… yeah, it wasn't a date. It wasn't really anything I guess. Maybe it was to… acquaintances that were just going out for some pizza and talking. When I first saw Isabella at the reunion of course I thought she was beautiful. But I realized something that relaxed me.

She too made me uncomfortable.

She was no different from any other beautiful girl I had talked to. Yes she was attractive, but truly she was the kind of attractive like you turn your head on a street and spot her and you're all like, "Oh hey, she's pretty." She wasn't what she used to be. I mean in high school, she was the type of attractive where you can't stop looking at her and you can't stop thinking about her. But that was only because I truly liked her and dare I say _loved_ her. Now I'm not saying her beauty has diminished, she's gotten so gorgeous over the years; it's just that it's more when you have feelings for that person.

Even if she did still have that affect on me, I really don't think it would be a good thing. This girl bullied me in high school. She laughed at me and talked about me with everyone that ganged up on me. Although she never truly did anything upfront, the fact remains that she disrespected me and humiliated me, when she knew how I felt about her. And for what reasons?

Because I had had my head in a book simply because I didn't want people to see the bruises my father gave me? Because I so happened to have braces and messy hair? Because I was 'the perfect target'?

None of those reasons will ever be good enough in a million years.

I had never really thought about my high school years as much as I was thinking about it now. Why was I such a target? What the hell did _I_ do? _Was_ there something I did? Of course I knew that Isabella had changed. I had accepted that fact and even did a mental happy dance. But even if I did want to forgive her, I wouldn't know how. How are supposed to forgive somebody for that? How do you get over the pain and humiliation people put you through?

I still hadn't even gotten over my real father and what he did to me and my family. Edward Masen was a vicious and vile man and even _he_ knew it. Just the thought of him makes me sick to my fucking stomach. I still regret not pulling the trigger on the gun when I had the chance. But really I hadn't gotten over it because I pushed it aside. I refused to talk or even think about him and what he did.

So yeah, this dinner between me and Isabella was nothing more than a dinner. Just two people getting food because they didn't eat before and were starving. I didn't want to talk about high school, I didn't want to talk about how sorry she was or how I felt, I didn't want to talk about my money and I most defiantly didn't want to talk about how she could earn my forgiveness. I didn't know _what_ I wanted to talk about.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked in the front of Mario's, stopping the car and hoping out. Being the gentlemen I am, I walk over to the passenger door and help her out. It doesn't escape my knowledge that me and Isabella are very over dressed. I'm still in my suit and she's still in her black dress.

"Thank you," she whispers looking down.

"Welcome." I lead the way to the door and open it letting her go first once we get there. It's not empty but it's not packed either. I walk to the hostess stand and ask for a table for two and we're led to a booth. We each slide in on one side and grab a menu.

"You want to just get a pan of pizza?" I ask.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she says placing the menu down. She places her arms on the table, crossing them and looks at me with a small smile. But of course me not being the ladies man, I get uncomfortable and look at my entwined fingers.

"So…tell me what you've been doing these ten years," she insists, taking a sip of the coke the waitress just brought.

I clear my throat and fight the urge to sigh. The last thing I want to talk about is me and what I've been doing the past ten years.

"Well, after high school I of course went to college and majored in management because my father wanted me to take over his business. So I took other classes like marketing, accounting, finance stuff like that." My mouth was moving but my eyes and attention were on the paper of the straw, playing with it.

"Edward Masen had a business?"

I froze and looked at her dead in the eye before dropping the paper and swallowing. "No… he didn't have a business." I leaned back and looked out the window, trying to calm myself. Why did she have to be so fucking nosy? Why did she want to know everything about me?

She was silent for a second. "Did I say something?"

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "No Isabella. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been like that to you, but I would appreciate it if we kept away from anything that has to do with him," I said looking at her with a warm but serious face.

She gulped and nodded slowly, "O-Okay," she whispered.

I smiled and laughed through my nose, sipping on the water I ordered. "Carlisle Cullen was the original owner of Cullen International Corporations. I changed my last name to Cullen a couple years after my father went to-" I cut myself off and searched for the right word. "After he left and Carlisle saved us. It felt right, having his last name. I felt like he was my real father, and it made him happy when I told him I changed it." I didn't realize I was smiling until I ended my sentence. "That's all I wanted for him. Happiness," I whispered.

"You seem like a good son," she said with her own smile. She looked at me with admiration in her eyes and cupped her drink in the palms of her hands.

"I guess. I protected Alice in high school and then I… I took over in high school as well," I said, silently praying she wouldn't press. No way I was about to tell her that my mother had once been severely depressed and I had to care for the family.

But she was Isabella, so of course she was going to want more.

"What do you mean you took over in high school," she asked with a disbelieving smile on her face. "I don't think you remember, but in high school… you weren't very popular."

I looked down in pain and anger. She was joking about my high school years. The fucking audacity she had to actually joke about that was way beyond me and holy fuck did it piss me the fuck off.

"Of course I remember Isabella," I spoke as softly as I could, but it wasn't really hiding my anger. "How could I forget those four years? I remember each and every detail, trust me. I remember when Emmett trapped me in a locker. I remember when the boys in my gym class put my clothes in the toilet. I even remember when Mr. Banner laughed along with everyone when they made fun of the bruises on my face when they knew nothing about where they came from," I stare at her with a look of disgust and repeat the words I said to my mother. "I don't know if you remember our high school years, but I would give anything to forget them."

She looks taken aback at my rant and ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I didn't it to be rude or – fuck. I'm sorry," she whispers.

I look down, trying to push back the memories of high school and the horrors of my father. It's true when I say I remember every single detail of high school. How could I forget? Tell me and I won't hesitate to do it. I remember high school, yes. But it wasn't high school that had the biggest impact on me. It was the times after school.

The fear I felt waiting for Masen to come home; the sweat and anticipation I would feel when I heard him yelling. It was the sound of my father's palm flying across my mother's cheek that I remember the most. It's the sound of her screams and protests; her pleading to make him stop whatever it was he did to her. I remember it all, every single moment.

The bottles hitting the wall, the loud boom of my mother's body hitting the floor, the moaning from my father and whimpering of my mother. I remember the anger I felt towards myself, knowing that I couldn't do a damn thing. And I remember the first time I _tried_ to do something. I remember the dark spot on my eye and the bruises that were all over my body the day after. I remember when she begged me not to interfere, but I wouldn't listen.

I remember the last night; the night that I came so close to ending him, ending it all.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," I say quietly.

Her back shoots up straight and she shakes her head frantically. "No! No, please don't leave… I – I'm sorry," she says frantically.

I close my eyes and sigh, "Why do you want to eat with me? I mean, why do you care if I leave or not? It's going to happen after tonight. I'll be back with my family and then drive back to Seattle," I ask exasperated.

She looks at me for a moment, looking for the words I guess. "I just… I don't know. Just please – please don't go," she whispers. Her voice is so pained that I can't leave, even if her reason for wanting me to stay is unknown.

I stay silent, because I know if I speak my voice will either be harsh or I will say something I don't mean. Thankfully, the waitress comes to our table and saves us from the awkward silence.

"What can I get you two tonight?" she said, her voice rather chipper.

I smiled warmly at her and answered her question, "Can we get a pan pepperoni pizza please?"

"Will that be all for tonight," she asks while writing it down in her notpad.

I look at Isabella and she shakes her head. "No thank you," I say, handing her our menus.

She walks away and leaves us in our silence. I play with the paper from the straw while Isabella looks around the room and out the window.

Then my fucking phone rings.

I pull it out of my pocket and glance at the screen, seeing who's calling me. I panic when I see and groan in frustration, contemplating on picking up or not answering. Reluctantly, I got with the former and slowly slide my thumb across.

I don't even say hi before the asshole speaks.

"Wassup!" he holds the word long and in a growling tone.

"What the fuck do you want Jacob?" I ask, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Dude! You're supposed to say it back. Like in Scary Movie, when they answer the phone!" he says.

"Yeah, yeah I get it. Now what do you want?" I ask with a small smile playing on my lips.

"I just want to see how the reunion is going…"

"Well, I kind of ditched it. Went out for some pizza," I wasn't going to tell him who I was with, because I knew he would tell my mother and my mother would mostly likely rip me a new one.

"With who?" he asks.

"I have to go Jake, help mom with Seth and Paul will you?" I say.

"Hey wait! I need-

"Yeah love you too buddy," I say. I press my thumb on the end button and shove the phone back in my pocket.

I take a deep breath and sip on my water. My head slowly goes up and I see Isabella staring at me with her doe eyes. Something in me shifts; something that I'm unfamiliar with. My stomach turns and I get this feeling of butterflies in my stomach for an unknown reason.

"Edward I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings when I said that. I'm sorry, it was very stupid of me to say that," she says with her head hanging down.

I look at her and see that what she's saying is true. I see genuine regret and shame on her facae, but for some reason… I don't like it. Maybe it's just the softness in me, but I still don't like seeing this woman distraught.

"Hey, no worries okay? Its fine, I'm over it. Truly," I say with a crooked smile. "Don't think about it, I'm already done with that. I'm not mad… I promise."

She smiles at me and nods, before looking down and blushing.

"So how's your novel going?" I ask.

"Um… pretty good I guess. I don't know…" she says sheepishly.

"Do you not like talking about it?" I ask smiling.

She chuckles lightly and looks at me before looking back down and shaking her head. "No, not really."

"Can I ask why?"

She looks at me and smiles shyly. "I don't know… I just don't really think there's anything to talk about," she says shrugging.

"What?" I ask baffled.

She sighs and shrugs again, "I just… I don't feel very excited about it as others do. I don't understand why they are, but… I don't know. I just don't feel like," she looks down and laughs through her nose. "I guess I don't feel so good about it," she whispers.

I pull my head back and frown. "Are you serious?" She nods in response.

"And why is that Isabella," I say, leaning towards her with my chest against the edge of the table.

She looks at me for a moment, taking deep breaths before answering me, "I – I don't know," she whispers. "I just… I've had everyone tell me that writing is a waste of my time and that, I'll never succeed. A lot of people tell me that it never worked out for them so… It kind of makes me feel like I'm wasting my time."

I narrow my eyes at her and shake my head, finding the right words to say.

"Listen, if writing is truly what you want to do, then why listen to those people? Yeah, maybe the chances of a book becoming successful are low but look at J.K Rowling or John Green, who wrote that love story. I'm pretty sure they had their doubts too but obviously they didn't stop. And some people may say that they just got lucky but I think that's bullshit. They didn't get lucky, they got off their asses and did something about it," I say shaking my head. She looks at my with a surprised look on her face.

"Don't let people steal your dreams. Don't let them say that just because it didn't work out for them then it's not going to work out for you," I say quietly with a serious look on my face.

I don't know how long we stare at each other, but I know we do it for a long time. She looks from my left eye to my right with the surprised look still on her face.

"Pan pepperoni pizza?" the waitress says, pulling us from our intense staring.

I look at her and smile, "Yes, thank you."

"Anything else I can get you?" she asks while placing the pan in the middle of the table.

"No thank you," Isabella and I say in unison.

I grab a plate from the table and put two slices on my plate. Isabella hasn't moved and when I look up, she's studying me intently.

"What?" I ask playfully.

She smiles and nods her head shortly, "Thank you." It's no more than a whisper, but I can hear the gratitude.

"For what?" I ask frowning.

"Thank you for that. What you said it… it means more than you know," she says seriously. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but I can't tell you how sorry I am. And I can't tell you how much your words mean to me," she says nodding. "Thank you."

I smile and nod, "You're welcome."

I take a bite from the pizza and moan. "Oh holy shit this is good," I say with my eyes closed.

"You look like you've never had pizza in your life," she says laughing.

I laugh and swallow my food before replying, "It's been a very long time since I've eaten anything like this. I'm going to be throwing up later tonight," I say nodding and chuckling.

"Why will you be throwing up?" she asks frowning.

"I rarely eat unhealthy stuff like this. But fuck it's so good," I say smiling.

"Yeah, it looks like you don't. You're like, young Arnold Schwarzenegger," she bursts out laughing after that.

I throw my head back and laugh at her, "I'm really not that buff."

She looks at me when she stops smiling and I gaze in her eyes, really seeing the beauty and change in her. I get that feeling again, but this time it makes me uncomfortable. But even the discomfort can't break me out of my trance. Before I finish admiring her beauty, I stop myself.

The rest of the night is filled with laughter, endless smiles and pepperoni pizza. As we exit the restaurant, I walk side by side with Isabella. I open the door for her and smile when she thanks me.

"I had a great time Edward," she says looking at me with a warm smile. I stop at a red light and look at her.

"So did I." I can't look away from her gaze for some reason, but she doesn't either. I lose myself and study her heart shaped face. I admit to myself that I truly have never seen anybody so beautiful. And that's fucked up. I shouldn't be feeling this way at all.

Fuck.

"It's green, Edward," she whispers, still looking at me with that hypnotic smile.

I smile brightly and press on the gas pedal.

"Do you remember where I live?" she asks.

"Yep."

"Can you drop me off there?"

"Sure," I say nodding.

The ride is filled with my music on my playlist. She smiles and looks at the stereo before looking at me.

"You have good taste in music," she says approvingly.

"I know," I say smugly. She laughs lightly and shakes her head.

Less than thirty minutes later, we arrive at her house and I park on the side. She doesn't move and seems to be lost in her thoughts. Finally she meets my gaze and smiles.

"Thank you for tonight," she whispers. The street lights make her eyes shine and I find myself lost in them.

"You're welcome," I smile back.

She grabs a piece of paper from her purse and a pen and writes something down, but when she places it on the console I don't bother to look at it.

"Goodnight Edward," she says quietly.

"Goodnight, it was good seeing you," I say. And suddenly I'm feeling sad. Sad that she's leaving. But I know deep down that I don't have any feelings for her, no matter how sweet and different she is from the other Isabella.

Fuck.

She closes her eyes and seems to be gathering courage or talking to herself. She finally sighs and shakes her head lightly, looking out the window. She looks at me and smiles warmly.

"I truly had an amazing time," she says, standing by the door. "And I don't care about it, but your car is amazingly beautiful," she says teasing me.

I chuckle and sigh, "Thank you. I had a nice time to, goodnight," I whisper. It's all I _can_ do.

She smiles once more and walks towards her front door, looking back to meet my gaze every couple of steps.

I finally turn to look at the road and start the car. An hour later, I find myself in front of my house rubbing my face tiredly.

I grab my phone from the console and my eye catches the note Isabella left me. I grab it and face my phone to the paper, making it light up.

_206-594-2532_

_I had an amazing time; thank you._

She gave me her fucking phone number. Which means she wants me to call her. And that's not even the worst part; it's that I'm not sure if I want to or not. I should know that I _don't_ want to right off the bat. I should throw this paper in a fire or flush it down the toilet. I shouldn't have even agreed to go out on a dinner.

Jesus fuck.

"Damnit!" I yell, gripping my hair. I get out of the car and fight the urge to slam the door, but I know the kids are sleeping so I shut it as quietly as possible.

When I enter the house, all is quiet and everyone is asleep. I go to my room to change and get in bed, finding that Jake isn't in my bed tonight.

Halle-_fuckin_-lujah.

What the fuck is going on? And why am I even stressing out over this? I don't have any feelings for her and I won't. I can't and I know that the possibility of me falling for her is slim to none after high school. But I can't help the other part of me that says that she has truly changed and is better now.

My brain is about to explode and I decide that none of this matters and I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should. She's just a… friend?

I doesn't matter. I shouldn't be stressing over this because there is nothing to stress about. There is nothing going on and there will never be when it comes to me and her.

It takes me awhile to fall asleep with all of my thoughts, but when I do my dreams are filled with brown eyes and a beautiful smile. And the next morning I know that I'm not making a bigger deal out of this. It _is_ a big fucking deal.

* * *

_I hope you like it! I was sort of on a time limit for this one so sorry if it sucks…_

_Fanfic recommendation – _Alphabet Weekends, _by the-glory-days_

_Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

_Much love to my beta Kayla._

_Hello again! Like I said, my schedule had been pretty cramped so I'll be trying to update on Saturday's and possibly Sunday's. Don't hate me please?_

_Reviews are amazing, so please, please, please review!_

_Enjoy, and much love to all of you._

* * *

Chapter 5

I had never felt so shitty in my entire fucking life. There was like this unexplainable feeling in my stomach, the kind you get when you're about to fucking hurl, and God it was hot. This was my third time waking up and it was only five in the fucking morning.

"Oh shit," I moan when I feel the vomit coming up. I roll out of bed trying to stand up, but my knees buckle and I fall on my hands and knees. Trying to control my breathing, I crawl towards the bathroom managing to keep the vomit back.

I finally get there and attempt to lift the toilet seat. I'm pretty satisfied and I finally let the pizza from last night exit my body. My eyes water up and snot runs down my nose, dripping down and falling in the toilet.

After I'm done with my midnight hurl, I take a deep breath not even bothering to rinse my mouth, and I crawl back to my bed. I honestly have no fucking clue how long it takes me to get to my heavenly bed, but when I do I hear the heavy footsteps of someone.

I sigh and turn my head to see Jake entering the bathroom. Closing my eyes, I kick my legs until the comforter is on the edge of the bed. This room has never felt hotter and it's killing me.

"What the," I hear Jake mutter sleepily. I open my eyes, making them slits since I can't open them much and turn my head to the light. "Dude! Fuck man, that's fucking nasty," he whines. He walks back out and turns my light on.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You just threw up ontop of the fucking toilet seat man."

What? "No I didn't. I remember lifting the damn thing up." I turn on my side, facing the big window of my room and sigh, closing my eyes.

"What the fuck ever man," he mutters in more of a sighing tone. He walks out of the room and turn to see him switch the light before scratching the back of his head and walking down the hallway.

I turn around again and close my eyes, letting myself relax and drift to sleep. And when I'm fully unconscious, the rest of the night is filled with nothing but blank blackness rather than the brown eyes I dreamt of.

_**FM**_

"Oh my _good_ness it smells like sh- bad stuff in here," I faintly hear my mother say casually and one of the twins giggle.

"Momma, you were about to say," his next word is muffle by a hand or something, making it unable to hear what he said.

I turn on my back and rub my eyes before opening them to see my mother head to my bathroom. Seth smiles brightly at me and hops in my bed with me and snuggles against my chest. I look down and smile lazily, ruffling his hair up.

"Oh sweet Jesus," Esme says from the bathroom. She walks out and comes to stand by the side of my bed with her hands at her side. "Edward what is wrong with you? You can't just throw up on the seat whenever you want to," she exclaims.

So I _did_ throw up on the seat…

"I was seriously dead asleep Mom, I didn't know what I was doing," I say smiling feigning innocence. She tries to fight her smile and fails miserably. Beside me, Seth giggles and sits on his heels. "Merry Christmas Eve."

Esme turns around and starts to walk out, "You better clean that up before you come and eat!" I look at the door the she left and then turn to Seth, "Crazy woman."

Seth and I get out of bed and after grabbing a roll of napkins and a bottle of Lysol, we head to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" I ask when he starts taking his shirt off.

"Smells like poo-poo in here," he says right before he wraps the shirt around his face under his eyes and tying the sleeve behind his head. He tightens it and makes sure it's snug against his nose. I roll my eyes at him, but when we I take my first breath, I find a shirt from the floor and do the same thing, getting to work on the yellow vomit.

Fifteen minutes later, I find myself sitting at the breakfast bar with Jake and Alice on both of my sides. It makes me feel like a kid again, sitting like this and talking casually talking with my family.

"How was your night Alice?" I ask, hoping it was better than mine. I mean, it went pretty good after I got to Mario's but yeah, before that it sucked.

"Oh it was good. Stacey got married to that guy Luke or… what was it? Oh, Liam!" she nods smiling while eyeing her food.

"Hey, you never told me who you went with to get pizza with? Where the fuck was I dude? Isn't that in the bro code or best friend manual?" Jake complains.

"What is?" I ask frowning.

"Taking me with you when you go to a fucking pizza place. That's real screwed up Cullen, we're best friends and you know I love food more than anything. I hate to say this man, but I'm hurt," he says looking at me from the corner of his eye smirking.

"How is it that you eat so damn much, but you're like Dwayne Johnson?" Alice asks laughing while looking at him and holding her fork.

"I got skills to pay bills," he says smugly.

"Whatever that means," she says around her eggs while looking at a magazine.

"Spill Cullen," Jake says crossing his arms.

I sigh and roll my eyes while looking in front of me, "I was with Isabella Swan."

Both of them drop their forks, making a clinking sound and I can see in my peripheral vision that their jaws are practically touching the floor.

"You're fucking with me right?" Jake asks, sounding a bit mad. When I shake my head no and shrug he continues, "Dude, are you serious? You took her to a fucking pizza restaurant but not me?"

"Ugh Jacob, that's not what matters!" She gets up and walks around the bar to stare at me. "How was it? Was she nice to you?"

I sigh and tilt my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at her. "It was fine. We just went out for pizza, that's it. There's nothing… going on between us and there never will be." The words truly taste bitter on my tongue and my mind floods with reasons that make that fact wrong. I should be happy that I won't see her ever again. Just yesterday she was the last person I wanted to see. What the fuck happened?

"What did you guys talk about?" she asks eagerly.

"None of your business, Alice. Geez, it was just dinner. That's it," I say the words but there's something telling me that something happened last night. There's a part of me saying that a seed was planted last night. It makes me feel like a psychic.

Alice sighs and looks at me apologetically, "I'm just making sure. You're my brother and I love you; her being around you makes me nervous, that's all."

I get up and walk around the bar, putting my plate in the sink and kissing her cheek, "I know." It's all I say before walking back to my seat to grab my cup and refill it with orange juice.

"Was the pizza good?" Jake asks.

I smile and decide to tease him about it. "Oh my fucking God, it was so damn good. The cheese was perfectly done when she brought it out and the pepperonis were like no other."

"Alright, I've got an idea. Why don't we go to Port Angeles and eat there? We can go Christams shopping too, you know look around," he suggests.

"That's fine with me. It was good enough to eat again," I say shrugging.

I'm suddenly overwhelmed with thoughts of Isabella. She left me her number and I seriously have no idea what to do with it. Do I call her? Do I text her?

One side of my mind, I'm yelling at myself for even considering calling or texting. Why the fuck should I call her? I mean, what do I owe her? I'm not holding anything against her in this case and high school has nothing to do with this in a way, but what reason would I have to call her?

But then there's the other side of me that's saying that she's changed. But then again what does it matter that she's changed? There's not going to be anything between us… like ever. So why do I have this little devil on my shoulder telling me to pick up the fucking phone and call her?

"Jake I need your help." The words tumble out of my mouth before I even think about asking him for help.

"What's up brother?"

I take a deep breath deciding to take this opportunity to actually seek advice. I walk around the bar to sit back down beside him and prop my head up in both of my hands.

"So last night… before Isabella left, she left me her phone number."

He furrows his eyebrows and looks at his plate, "Is she a slut?"

What the fuck?

"Um, no? I don't fucking know… she doesn't seem like one. It actually looks like she had to gather the courage to write it down."

"Hmm… So what do you need my help with?"

"I – I don't know what I'm doing here," I sigh and rub my eyes with the tips of my fingers. "There's a part of me that's telling me to call her, but shouldn't I want to throw it away? I shouldn't have even agreed to that dinner right?"

"Is that what you think you should do?"

"I think that's what I should _want_ to do, but I fucking don't and that's just… not right."

"How is it not right? Yeah she bullied you in high school but open your eyes man, you're not _in_ high school anymore. And yeah that may sound insensitive or whatever, but what if she's genuinely changed? And if she has, what harm can come from you calling her?"

"What _good_ can come from it?"

"I don't know. And you won't either unless you call her. Listen, I'm not saying you should and I'm not saying you shouldn't, but I'm simply saying that it wouldn't necessary be a bad thing if you called her. It's a fucking call, not a marriage proposal."

He gets up and puts his plate in the sink before walking to the fridge to get the plastic gallon of orange juice out.

"Jacob, what did I say? We have cups for a reason!" Esme shouts before snatching the bottle from him and getting him a cup and pouring him a glass.

I walk to my room and shut the door locking it. The silence makes me think about what Jake said. He's right, it _is_ just a call but I can't help but feel like it means more. Maybe it's just because of my past feelings for her. Maybe I'm scared that I'll fall for her again and set myself up for more heartbreak.

_It's a fucking call, not a marriage proposal._

Jakes words ring in my head and very slowly I reach over my bed and grab my phone and the piece of paper next to it.

"Just a call."

I lay back down once I've got my phone and the small card and heard the giggling sounds from downstairs. I type in the numbers and bring the phone to my ear and close my eyes sighing. Should I be doing this? I mean, I know it's just a call but I feel… uncomfortable? Not uncomfortable like I didn't want to be anywhere near her but in the type of uncomfortable when you don't know what to say and it's all weird. Awkward! That's the word I was looking for. It would feel awkward, not knowing what to say or how to react.

My thoughts were caught off when the ringing of the phone started and on the third ring, I heard her.

"Hello?"

I waited a beat and cleared my throat, "Hi. It's Edward." My voice was not tight or clipped but not overly happy or anything.

"Oh hey!" The sound of a deep voice came from the background and I listened closely to hear him. "Hold on let me move outside," I hummed and understood the man was talking to someone else.

"Okay. How are you?" she asked in what sounded like a cheerful tone.

"Oh I'm good. I saw you left your number in my car last night so I just… you know, wanted to give you my number in return," I said as I got up and started walking back and forth in my from with my other hand in my pockets.

"Oh yeah, I… yeah thanks," she said stuttering.

I laughed and sighed knowing that an awkward silence was coming up.

"Yeah so-" Just as I was about to say goodbye she interrupted me.

"So I had fun last night," she said quickly. We both laughed and she was quick to apologize, "Sorry."

"No it's ok. And I had a fun too, I don't think I've laughed that much in awhile," I said with a smile on my face.

"What, you don't see your family a lot?" she questioned.

"Unfortunately not; I live in Seattle and they live here," I say casually. Of course I never liked the fact that we were so far apart, but all of us learned to live with it and I wasn't like I didn't come out and visit them often.

"Yeah I know how you feel. When are you going back to Seattle?" she asks.

"After Christmas Day, so Friday. What about you?"

"Same, Friday," she says coolly. "Maybe we can do something when we get back. Go to lunch or something," she says quietly, unsure and hesitant.

I'm quiet for a beat thinking about everything that could go wrong and everything that could possibly happen. What if we got close and I actually started to feel what I used to feel for her? What if I actually let her in and fell I love with her only to have her turn her back on me? Fuck, all of this was so frustrating and angering.

But still, I gave her hope.

"Yeah maybe. That'd be cool," I say while nodding even though she can't see me.

"Yeah, I'll call you or something. We'll see if we can… do stuff or something."

The other end of the line is loud with laughter. I don't know who it is since it'd kind of faint, like it's away from the phone. But God, the sound of it is entrancing and just beautiful. My stomach flips and I gasp quietly blinking a couple of times.

Suddenly the laughter dies down and is turned into giggles that are right next to the phone, and that's when I realize that it was _her_ laughter.

"Yeah, we can do some stuff," she chuckles again. "Merry Christmas… Eve, I guess."

"Merry Christmas Isabella." Ok that wasn't intended. I didn't mean to say her name, so I'm innocent. Because the way her name rolled off my tongue, it just sounded like it… meant more, you know? It sounded like she meant more to me.

"Bye, Edward," she whispered. And, oh My God, the way my name rolled off _her_ tongue made it sound just like mine. I felt special to her even though that wasn't and _shouldn't_ be the case.

My heart was beating a mile a minute and my hands were cold and clammy. I pressed the end button and just stood there. I was scared shitless. Why? Fuck if I know. Was there anything to be afraid of? Yes, no. I'd like to say yes, to excuse my behavior right now but I think deep down beneath all the denial and the fear, I knew there _shouldn't_ be anything to be afraid of… right?

I mean, I guess there is given what she and everyone else put me through. I mean this woman bullied me for four fucking years. I had strong feelings for her and just about everyone in Forks knew that besides my family. How fucked up is that? Everyone – the adults, the parents of every kid at Forks High school – knew that I was severely bullied; everyone _but _my family.

I guess its okay to feel this anger at the old her and the old _everyone_. I know she's not the same, but I just don't know how to accept that really. And I might have said that I did accept it, but I just don't know how to deal with it. God, even my thoughts made no sense.

I know that I don't forgive her or her brother, not because I want to hold a grudge but because I don't know how to get over it. I also know, that I would never do anything to hurt them the way they hurt me. No, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Hurting Isabella or her brother like that would be out of line and extremely childish.

I sit down on my bed and rub my eyes, plopping down on my back. This anger towards Isabella, I don't like it. It makes me feel wrong. I know I have a right to be angry, but I guess I'm just tired of being angry. I don't want to be mad at anybody. I don't like carrying this anger. Maybe if we talked about it? No I don't think that's ok with me.

"You ready to go Edward?" Jake says from the door. I jump, too lost in my thoughts to acknowledge his arrival.

I sigh and shake my head, "Let me get dressed. I'll be right."

_**FM**_

This night is filled with frustrating thoughts that make me exhausted and cranky. Which is why I find myself lying on my bed watching, _The Heat_ at 2:30 in the morning. Oddly, I can't sleep even after my big phone call and wrapping the million presents I got for everyone.

Jake is also still awake and isn't fazed by the fact that my fucking brothers and mother is sleeping.

"Jesus fuck," I mutter as I pause the movie and pull out my phone from my H&M sweats. I scroll to his contact and press the message button quickly typing.

_dude shut the fuck up. mom and the kids are sleeping you fat prick_

Without exiting the messages, I click the top button shutting the phone off. I quickly press the play button. Five minutes later, I get a text back.

_lol I think you have the wrong number…_

"The fuck…" I mutter.

I look up to the top of the screen and my eye practically fall out of their sockets.

_Isabella_

Oh my God.

Oh my fucking God.

_shit i'm sorry! i thought I pressed jacob's contact! you're not a fat prick…_

_jake starts with a J, edward. i think you're lying to me._

_i know but I have him under idiot. i'm not lying I promise. i'm really sorry, i didn't mean to text you that!_

_that's very sweet of you. and I was teasing you, I know you were._

I can't think of any other way to end the conversation. She must be tired and I just woke her up from her sweet slumber.

_ok cool. sorry once again._

That seems good. Yeah, good save Edward. Less than two minutes, she texts back once again.

_can't sleep either?_

I sigh in relief when she assures me I didn't wake her.

_nope. what are you up to?_

_nothing, just reading. too much on my mind._

_same here. my brain is about to blow up._

_lol, can I ask what you're thinking about?_

I pause at this text. Yeah, I really don't think she wants to know that I've been thinking about the high school days and the times with my terrible father. I don't even know how to respond to this text.

_you can. but I don't think you really want to know._

_i do truly. but I guess i'm being nosy so i'll stop asking._

_i just don't want to hurt your feelings.._

The next message doesn't come as fast as the other ones. And I realize my text makes it seem like I'm think bad about her. Her message come at the same time mine sends.

_i don't mean that in a bad way. i just don't want to bring up the past._

_oh._

Fuck.

_Isabella that's not what i meant. i'm not talking bad about you, it just has to do with the past. it's hard to explain._

She hesitates again for at least two minutes and I sigh and rub my face.

_please talk to me. _

But how _can_ I talk to her about it? It seems right to talk to her about it, considering she was the person that causes bad high school memories. I could get some answers out of her. But it all comes to one question: Do I want to talk to her about it?

I sigh and slowly, tentatively reply.

_i don't know if I can._

_i don't want you to hate me. i want to fix this._

I close my eyes and sigh. Why the fuck does all of this shit have to be hard? God, I just want this all to be over. I don't text back, getting lost in my thoughts. She reminds me that she's still there though with another text.

_edward, please. talk to me._

I shake my head frustrated and avert my attention to the movie. Ten minutes have passed and I haven't text back, nor has she. But then the fucking phone rings, because when does my phone not ring?

I already know who it is, and truly I don't blame her for resorting to a call. I sigh and slide my thumb across the screen, bringing it to my ear.

"Hi."

"Please talk to me. I know it's hard, but I want your forgiveness. I don't want you to be mad, and I know that's asking for a lot. But I just want – I just need… I want to fix it. I fucked up, I know. God I know I did. I was a fucking idiot and I'm sorry. I was a selfish girl who cared more about her ego and reputation than anyone. And I know that the fact that I've changed doesn't change anything, but I want to," she stops for a beat and thank God she does because I kinda need a break. "Fuck," I hear her sigh out; I don't think I want intended to hear that. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"I don't like being mad," I whisper.

She doesn't say anything, but lets out an incoherent stuttered word.

"And I'm not mad at you a lot. But I still don't like being mad at so many people. I don't want to be mad at you; I want to forgive you. I want you to make it up to me and maybe that's selfish, but I can't help what I feel."

"I get it. And I don't want you to be mad at me either. I just wish I could turn back the clock and change everything. And fuck, I would if I could Edward. I was wrong for doing everything I did and everyone else was wrong for doing the same thing instead of defending you. Nobody deserves to be treated that way, and I'm so sorry."

I nod, banging my head on the back of the headboard and sighing. "I know you are. I just don't know how to think anything else of you. I mean I know you've changed… but it's all I have of you."

"What do you mean?" she asks, keeping her voice down.

I sigh and shake my head shrugging, "High school. The memories; it's all I have of you. All I remember from high school is getting the shit beat out of by your brother and just…" I trail off, my mind wandering to those moments.

"What Edward?"

"I just remember hearing you laugh. Hearing you laugh with all of them and just… I don't know. Maybe it hurt more because I cared about you so much, but… Fuck, I don't know. It's just like, every time they called me names or took my money that I got, like every five fucking years or… got milk poured all over me… for some reason your laugh would stand out."

"Shit," she whispers, and I can hear her voice crack and her sniffle. "I don't know what to say to be honest. I have never felt so shitty in my life."

I chuckle lightly, "Hmm..." I'm quiet for a moment and just enjoy the silence. The screen is blue from the movie being over and after getting all of that off my chest, I feel better. "It's all I have of you Isabella," I whisper, reminding her.

Nobody speaks for a minute, but I do hear her sniffling and whimpering here and there.

"Let me change it," she whispers so quietly I barely catch it.

"What?"

"Let me fix it. Let me show you the real me," she whispers only a tad louder. "Please, just let me try."

And once again, everything is silent again and I'm left to think about it. Should I let her, or should I not? If I did, maybe I'd be free of this frustrating shit and just… be done with everything. I could actually get to know her and see the real her. And although it seemed relieving to just get over all of this stuff, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. But, I couldn't live with all of this anger and pain. So that's why I said yes. And I know that everyone would say I was out of my mind, but there was something telling me that this was what was supposed to happen; that this was how it should be.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Yes?"

I took a deep breath and swallowed. "Yes."

She was silent. No crying with joy, no screaming with excitement. All she gave me was a quiet, "Thank you." But under all of her tears and under all of her regret, I could hear her gratitude. I could her silent promise that she wouldn't fuck this up. And that was better than any tear of joy and shriek of excitement.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Isabella."

"Thank you."

The end of the call marked the beginning of her remission.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter! _

_Please tell me how your thoughts and review! Love you._

_Fanfic recommendation - _Midnight Desire, _by Twilightzoner_

_An All Human parody of Midnight Sun. AH, AU and consequently OOC. No blood lust - just uncontrollable human lust. Smut filled fun . . ._


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and I never will.**

_Much love to my beta, Kayla – MissRainbow13_

_Please don't hate me! I'm really sorry I had so much going on this week. I promise that I will do everything in my power to update every Saturday. Once again, I'm sorry!_

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 6

"Just ask her," I say to myself. She's standing right there; right fucking there. She's the only reason I'm here. She looks so beautiful in her white front split dress; every girl in this room here looks gorgeous, but she stands out.

After gathering the courage, I start walking in her direction as my breathing picks up. Maybe if she actually says yes, Dad will actually be proud. Maybe… I don't know.

I stop in front of her and her crew, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and some other kids. But of course, they don't notice me. I look at each one of them and walk around the circle of them towards Isabella.

I tap her on the shoulder and when she turns to see me, her smile faltered. Within seconds of seeing my face, her smile is wiped off her face and replaced with a red blush. She looks around the room like she's nervous and sighs.

"Would… Would you like to dance?" I ask quietly. I should have spoken up because this place is too loud.

"Um – What?" she says flatly.

Fuck.

"Would you like to dance?" I ask louder. And this time not only did she hear, but her whole group heard. Emmett starts to step in, but Isabella puts a hand on his chest and shakes her head.

"No I don't want to dance," she says. She turns to look at her group who are trying to hide their laughter. She looks at Rose and her eyes widen as she shakes her head.

"But it's Prom. Just one dan-"

"I said I don't want to dance. Stop talking to me, Masen. Seriously – unless you want the chief of police on your case, I'd back off. I don't want anything to do with you."

Her face shows no remorse. It shows no sympathy, no guilt. Nothing but embarrassment, anger and annoyance. And in this moment, it _has_ no beauty. It has none of the things that I have seen before. All I see is a girl with makeup on that is just like the rest of the school. She's just as heartless and it makes me feel like a fool. It makes me feel like everything I believed is anything but the truth.

I thought there was someone out there who could care about me. I thought that when my father said that nobody would ever love me or want me, I thought it wasn't true. I thought I would find someone that loved me and wouldn't hurt me. But that's not the truth. I now know the real truth. And the truth hurts more than any punch or word my father has said.

After my shock is replaced with anger and sadness, I turn and walk away from her. I'm halfway between the door and her when I feel the cold wetness on my head and the heaviness on my suit.

"Get the hell out of here, Masen! You don't belong here!" Emmett's voice booms, making the entire gym erupt in laughter. I feel one more splash of water on my face before I hear her laughter. I rub my eyes, ridding my face of the liquid and see her gripping Rosalie for support as she laughs harder than I've ever seen her.

I turn to the door and walk as fast as I can without running and slam the door open. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have to go through all of this shit? Why can't I just be fucking good enough?

I walk, and I walk and I walk. And I don't know when I stop or where I stop. But I know that I walk. It seems like fucking forever until I get to brick wall.

What the hell is wrong with people? What have I done? I just want to be normal. I just want to have some friends and no enemies. I want to have a father that slaps me on the back after I've done something good and kisses his wife when he gets home from work. I want a mother who is happy; who goes ape-shit when your room isn't clean. And I want a sister who has self-confidence and whines about her nails. I just want us all to be okay. I want my family to be okay.

By the time I'm at the brick wall, my breathing is fast and heavy and my hands shake. I feel the wetness on my cheeks, but I don't bother to wipe them off. I ball my hands into fists and bring them to my head, keeping them there as I clench my eyes shut.

"What the fuck!?" I scream at the top of my lungs and tug my hair. I open my eyes and try to slow my breathing down. Letting my hands fall to my sides, I rest my forehead on the brick wall.

I back up from the wall and look at the sign on the building. I wipe my eyes to see clearer and squint.

_Mario's Pizza_

I look inside and see a bunch of people laughing. The place is filled with people. Every single booth, every single chair is filled with someone. And as I open the door to walk in, all I can hear is their laughter and chatter.

I stand there for a second and just look at everyone. I look at a man in a booth and see him with two other men. He turns to me and nods once and gives me a short wave with a big smile on his face before turning back to his friends.

"Are you Edward Cullen?" I turn to my right and see a young woman in a Mario's shirt and a smile on her face.

"N-No. Edward Masen," I say quietly.

She looks at me and smiles shaking her head slowly, "No, you're Edward _Cullen_. And she's waiting for you." She turns and looks back to see if I'm following. I quickly run to her and stop when I get close enough to walk. She smiles and shakes her head at me before turning back.

As I follow her, I look around and see the other people. They all smile at me and nod their heads at me as the laugh happily. I turn my head to the left when I hear a cheer from a group of men watching a football game.

I actually crack a small smile.

"Here we are, Sir," the girl says. I avert my attention to her and look over her shoulder to the booth in front of me. I see the back of somebodies head and smile at the hostess before slowly walking to the booth.

I stop in front of the booth when I see her. But it's not really… her. No, it's _not _her. She looks older and more beautiful than I've ever seen her. She looks real.

"I've been waiting for you," she says with a small shy smile. She's wearing a dress, but it's not the one she was wearing just an hour ago. It's a snug black dress that stops right before her knees. As far as looks, she is far more different than the girl who just crushed me.

"Please sit, Edward," she whispers, the smile still on her face.

For a second I can't move. Because when she says my like that something comes to me. I can see her and not the old Isabella. I see this woman – not this _girl_ – who is truly guilty of her wrongdoings. She calls me _Edward_, a name my family haven't even called me since Dad turned. And she spoke it with such care and love. It's what makes me sit across from her.

"I've been waiting for you."

I stare at her for a second, careful choosing my words. I might say something to her that mother would say isn't nice or isn't very gentlemen like.

"Why?"

"You already know," she says shaking her head smiling. She leans in to take a sip from her drink before leaning back. That restaurant is still filled with tons of people and their laughter is loud.

Ignoring her statement I ask, "How long have you been here?"

She chuckles lightly, "Edward," she whispers, "I've been waiting for you as long as you have been for me."

My face scrunches into confusion. "I don't understand. Tell me how long."

Her smile doesn't falter even with the slightly impatient frustrated tone in my voice. In fact, her smile widens a bit.

"Ten years," she says after a beat. My eyebrows pull down into a frown, "I've been right here for ten years. Waiting for the day to come," she says quietly. "And so have you."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," I say, trying to recollect my anger.

"Yes, you do," she says quietly. I sigh and shake my head slowly, keeping my eyes on her face. "You always knew," she looked at me intently.

I frowned confused again and looked into her eyes. I looked right into her eyes and saw everything. I saw my father coming home and kissing my mother hello and Alice watching T.V at age six. I saw myself in a little boat with Masen by my side fishing and patting me on the back when I caught one at age nine. I saw a twelve year old boy holding his little sister when they heard his father scream at their mother for this first time. I saw how big my eyes widened when I saw the bruise on my mother's face the morning after. I saw myself at fourteen, when I was nervous to go to high school. And when I was sixteen, the first time I hit my father and the first time he hit me back. I remember the taunts I got at school the next day. I saw my seventeen year old self when Carlisle came and took the gun from me.

I saw how big my smile was when Carlisle told me I was CEO of Cullen Corporation and how proud Dad was. I saw myself kissing a coffin that held my hero in it, and the rare tears that fell from my cheeks. I the twenty-six year old, who barely talked anymore and very rarely laughed. But then I saw myself at age twenty-eight at this very restaurant with this very same woman, laughing and smiling.

I saw myself from an outsider's perspective and found the truth. I was right all along; I _had_ been good enough. I was brainwashed by not only my peers but also my own father. I knew that I was a victim, not a 'target'.

I always knew.

She gets up and suddenly I realize that the place is empty besides us two. I get up and stand before her, looking at her curiously.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving. You need to go back, get up." She smiles. Get up? What is she talking about? She's gone before I can ask her.

"…up! Wake up, Santa came!" My eyes fly open and I stare at the ceiling, becoming more aware of my surroundings.

Seth and Paul jump on my bed, making it jerk and wake me up. But my mind is still processing what I just dreamt that I can't move or talk.

"Edward, come on! Mom made a really big breakfast and stuff; she said you need to get your but showered and down there!" Paul shouted, too loudly for my liking.

I sighed and shook my head. These kids were like the energizer bunny. What the fuck time was it? It's still morning and they act like they're on a damn sugar high. I grin at them, tackling them and tickling them both.

I stop once their breathing picks up and tell them to run down stairs while I take a shower. It gives me the time I need to myself to think about what I just dreamt.

It wasn't real. She wasn't at Mario's last night and I wasn't either. She didn't really say any of that stuff. I haven't seen her in two days. She wasn't real, but she was right.

I knew all along that I wasn't a fuck up, but my life was. I never really knew what triggered my father's anger that first night, but I don't care to know. He still did it, and he has to be held accountable. My one wish is that I pulled the trigger that night.

That dream last night made me feel good. It made me feel like everything was going to be okay despite my fears. I don't really know why though. Maybe it was because I actually realized that none of that shit was my fault. Maybe it was because when I left the gym in the dream and saw Isabella, I wasn't even thinking about the humiliation or hurt.

God, I don't even think I'm making sense.

I sighed and shut the water off, getting a towel to wrap around my waist. After locking the door to my room, I walked to my closet and grabbed the hanger that held my clothes. I put on the light blue button down shirt along with my dark jeans and leather boots.

I walked down stairs to find the entire family downstairs eating at the table.

"Good morning sunshine," Jake said with a mouthful of food.

I grinned, "Morning." I walked over to kiss my mother and sister on their cheeks and ruffle Seth and Paul's hair before sitting down.

After filling my plate I started eating. "So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked after I swallowed.

"We're just going to stay in like a family and spend time together. Tonight we'll open our presents," Esme said.

"Aw, we have to wait till tonight?" It wasn't surprising that it was Jake that was complaining rather one of the boys.

"Oh you'll live Jacob," Esme said shaking her head smiling. "We can't do much since its snowing. A lot of roads are closed so um… we can't go to the cemetery," she said quietly.

I look to my left towards the window and see the pile of snow. What did she say? We can't go this year? I look back at her and notice her avoiding eye contact with me. She knows. She knows I cannot go one year without going to him. And she thinks a fucking road close is going to keep my away?

"Mom," I start, but I'm so shocked that I don't know what to say. "It's just a road close Ma… We can still go. I mean – We have to go," I scramble.

"Edward," she says quietly. She sounds so broken and just… wrong. She sounds off. She can't go because it hurts her too much. I truly I understand, I really do. It hurts me too, but I couldn't imagine skipping a visit to him. I nod at her slowly, earning a thankful smile and squeeze of the hand.

Roads are closed? I'll find a way to him. He always did; I can too.

_**FM**_

After the day is almost done, and we've all watched a couple of movies and play countless rounds of charades, it's seven at night. It's not snowing anymore, but it's fucking freezing outside.

I've already got my flowers, though I know they won't make it in this weather. I go upstairs and put on three pairs of Nike sweat pants along with two long sleeve Nike shirt, a black beanie, black gloves and a beanie.

I walk downstairs and approach my mother, "Okay, I'm gonna head out. Call me if you need me." I know she's about to protest but I give her the same look she gave me this morning. She knows what I'm saying and sighs but nods.

"Be careful, honey," she says seriously. I nod and smile, "Love you."

"Love you to Mom," I say hugging her goodbye.

I open the front door and jump a couple of times before stretching my legs. I pull out my head phones and plug them in my ears, putting on my workout playlist and hole the flowers securely in the hands. I run.

I get lost in the music and in the burning. I haven't worked out in a while; my legs are burning. But I like it. It lets me know I'm doing it right, it makes me feel good.

Somehow my mind wanders to the dream I had, which led me to think about Isabella. To be honest, it felt exciting to give her a chance. I _was_ excited. I wanted this to be over. I knew I couldn't permanently erase the past, but I sure could engrave my life with new memories that weren't bad. I could change my view of her. I just hoped that this would help; that when I looked at her a year from now, I wouldn't see her as the girl who took part in my destruction.

I averted my thoughts to my father. The hardest part about his death was the acceptance. I couldn't wrap my head around the situation. It was fucked – one day you're with your father laughing and talking about the future and the next day he's just gone. I just couldn't accept it. I didn't know how. I was in denial; I couldn't believe that he was gone.

He was by far the highlight of my life. I think he had always been, along with my mother and sister. He was the best kind of man. His voice could calm you within seconds. I always thought that his heart beat only for other around him; that he lived for his family and our happiness. I remember everyday just trying to return that kind of love. I did the best I could, and he said it was more than enough to him, but I know that I got nowhere near his.

I remember the times when he got mad. And all he did was narrow his eyes and smile playfully. I guess I never really considered him mad ever. He never screamed once around me and Alice or Mom. He knew exactly how to treat and act around us. He did everything so perfectly and carefully all the time and made it look natural.

The run to the cemetery doesn't take long. It's only twenty minutes there, and by the time I get to Dad's grave, I'm not cold.

I stop right in front of his grave and catch my breath. I crouch down on the balls of my feet, careful not to touch the snow, and put the flowers in front of the stone.

"Hey Dad," I say. I stare at the carved words in the stone and sigh sadly.

"I miss you," I say, looking at a tree that's further ahead. "There's so much happening, and without you here it doesn't feel right."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes before letting it all out.

"She's back in my life and I don't know what to do, Dad. She wants to make it up to me; she wants my forgiveness. But I don't know if I can. I don't know how to, Dad. I don't want to be mad anymore. I don't want any of this. I'm scared. I'm scared of what could happen and the feeling I'll feel. And then there's fucking Emmett, her fucking brother who beat the shit out of me. He's the guy I told you about when he put my clothes in the toilet and you had to drop me some dry ones off, Dad. He's her fucking brother, and I'm sure I'll have to be around him if she wants a chance. And I know, I know; I promise to be a gentleman no matter what. And I have, I promise, but God, it's just so hard. It's so fucking hard without you here."

I breathe calmly and stare at his stone. There isn't anything I wouldn't give to have him back here right beside me.

"I'm just so tired, Dad. Why can't I get a break? Why can't she just accept what is? I'm so damn tired of all of this. I want you here. If you were here, everything would be fine. Everything would be perfect. I wouldn't be moping and maybe I'd be forgiving. I would probably be happy with a girlfriend and just…" I sigh and rest my forehead against the stone, ignoring the ice cold feeling. "I miss you, Dad. I miss you. So fucking much, it hurts."

I close my eyes and imagine what he would say to me if he was here.

"_You knew what to do then; you know what to do now."_

I open my eyes, wiping away the lone tear that trickles down my cheek.

Standing up, I get ready to leave. I bend down and kiss the stone, prolonging the moment. "I love you Dad."

Reluctantly, I turn around and run to the sidewalk. It's not enough though. I pick up my pace and soon I'm close to a full sprint, but I don't stop or slow. The burning in my legs takes my mind to a different world and I'm at the house before I know it.

I walk in the house and walk straight to the kitchen, grabbing a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator. The bottle is empty in a matter of seconds, and I follow the sounds of my brother's laughter.

"Mom, Edward's back! Can we open them now?" Seth begs. I laugh and shake my head, plopping down on the sofa.

"Go ahead. Jacob, find there presents first," my mother orders him. He doesn't even whine about not being first which surprises the hell out of me. "How was it son," Esme asks, eyeing me.

I look at her and smile, "It was great." Her smile widens, and she nods before looking back at the two young boys.

"Alright you little bozo's, hurry up and open your present so I can open mine," Jake teases them with a smile.

Seth and Paul rip the first one open and gasp when they both see two remote control cars.

"Aw! This is so cool!" they get up and nearly push Esme off the couch with their hugs. She laughs and them and shakes her head, but I can see the admiration and love for them as clear as day. And after they both say they love her, her smile widens a million times more.

"Alright, open mine!" Jake whined. I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't keep the smile off my face. He just shrugged

Both of the kids got two bags each from Jake; one wrapped and one in a bag. Jake got Seth a T-shirt he had been talking about. Paul got the shoes he had been begging for. And in the bag was a undercover agent set with black glasses, a black hat, walkie talkie, FBI badge and a fake mustache.

"Thanks uncle Jake," they both giggled.

"You're welcome," he shrugged. "Just a little somethin' from my heart to you," he said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eyes.

"Please, the only place that came from is Walmart," I said with a smug smirk. Before he could come up with an explicit remark, Alice interrupted.

"Okay, now mine!" she said, as she jumped up to get the boy's gifts from her.

Alice got them both at least five outfits along with two pairs of shoes. They tackled Alice with their hugs and kissed her on the cheek.

After thanking Alice for the gifts, the both grabbed the two wrapped presents from me. I knew what they wanted. They had been hinting rather than begging me for it. Fifth generation iPod and Super Mario Bros for their Wii.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" they both jumped up and down while clutching on both of their presents. I was ready for them when they went for the tackle and turned the tables on them, turning them around a tickling them. I let them go when they started scratching my arms.

The rest of the night went by pretty fast. I got my mother her ridiculous blender she had been going on about. I got Alice a gift card to Victoria Secrets with 200 dollars on it. And as a joke, I got Jake a dog collar and leash. I only gave him the real present when he started bitching about how it was Christmas and I wasn't treating him right.

Alice was cleaning the kitchen, while Jake and Esme where playing with the boys when I made my way to my room, hoping for a good night sleep. I was halfway up when Esme called my name and waved me over to her as she walked into her room.

"He wanted you to have this. He kept saying that whenever he would pass, he wanted you to have this. I thought, what better time to give it to you than now." She handed me the cold chain and I wrapped my hand around it before looking to see what it was.

My heart skipped a beat and I gasped lightly. I had seen him wear it around the house. He always had his dog tag on. When I asked him about it, he said his father gave it to him before he died of a car crash. It had his name and date of birth on it.

I looked up to my mother and smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek and hugging her. With that I left, knowing that she couldn't and wouldn't be able to tolerate talking about him. I walked into the bathroom, clothes in my hand and my other clutching the dog tag.

After changing into my sweats and putting my clothes in my bag I put the dog tag on, looking at my reflection. I would never be Carlisle's son by blood. I mean I didn't look like him or act like him. We had many differences, but as I looked into my reflection I never felt more pride as I wore his dog tag.

I got into bed with my T.V on and my lamp beside my bed on. And then an idea hit me. I reached for my phone and dialed her number, making sure I had the right one this time.

She answered on the second ring.

"Edward," she said. It wasn't much of a question, more like a sound of surprise and happiness mixed together. But it was Christmas, who wouldn't be happy?

"Hello," I said politely. "I just wanted to call and you know… say Merry Christmas."

"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. I was with my family and just got caught up," she said as the background noise died down. "How was your day?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Oh, it was fine," I said with a content smile and sigh. "I was with my family too, so its fine."

"Oh ok," she said quietly. "Is it bad that I can't wait to get back to Seattle?" she laughed a nervous laugh.

I chuckled lightly and answered her, "No, I don't think so. I'm kind of getting excited," I said softly.

"Really?" she said. "I mean, you're not… you know, regretting agreeing to give me a chance?" She actually sounded surprised.

"Of course I'm not… why would I?" I asked tentatively.

"I don't know. I mean, doesn't the fact that you're gonna be hanging out with the girl that bullied you for four years for a while make you feel uneasy?"

"Well, it did at first. But I'm excited to see what you have planned," I teased chuckling. She laughed and sighed when it was quiet again.

"I should go. It's late and I have to leave tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah," she mumbled, sounding bummed.

"I'll see you Saturday?" I ask with a smile, trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she said chuckling. "Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight," I said, closing my eyes.

I was about to hang up when she called out my name.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you gave me a chance."

I laughed loudly as she chuckled and shook my head.

"Me too, Isabella."

* * *

_I'm sorry!_

_Tell me what you think about it. Review please!_

_This fanfiction isn't Twilight but it is a crossover between Remember me and Welcome to the Rileys. _

_Fanfic recommendation – _Here to Fall, _by GaelicShadow_

_Tyler/Allison aka Mallory Set in 2011, it's been 3 years since Allison left New Orleans and she meets Tyler in a NYC bar. Both broken, can they keep what they might have found?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or any of its characters. I'm just playing around with them.**

_Much love to my beta, MissRainbow13!_

_So I'm writing this on a Sunday. First day of school is tomorrow and I'm writing. Yeah, I'm trying to make it up to you guys. Reviews for last chapter weren't too good. Sad face. Maybe this will be better?_

_Reviews help me a lot._

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 7

"Are you kidding me?" I grumble, glaring at my phone. I seriously just put the fucker down and now it's ringing.

Sighing I grab it and look at the I.D. I should have known it'd be that prick. Shaking my head, I put the phone back in the cup holder ignoring the vibrating noise. Thankfully the thing shuts up soon. I turn the radio on pressing the CD button, instantly relaxing as my Debussy plays.

Leaving my mom and brothers was harder than I thought it'd be. But there was a part of me that was excited to go back to Seattle. And no, it was not because I would be seeing Isabella. It was because Seattle was my home; my true home. I sure as hell had more good memories there than I did at home.

As for Isabella, I guess I was excited. Not as excited as I was though. There was some much that was on my mind that didn't concern her. I had been spending more time than usual thinking about my father. I was also dreading going back to work, so there was that. And Alice mentioned a puppy, making me think about getting one for some unknown reason.

Not even a minute later, my phone buzzes once again.

"What the fuck?"

I pick up the phone and swipe my thumb on the screen, not even bothering to check and see who it is. Putting it to my ear, I let him have it.

"Call me again and I swear you'll have no dick," I threaten him.

"What kind of best friend are you? Jesus fucking Christ, Edward!" He honestly sounds pissed off, which pisses _me_ off even more. Plus, there's some lady screaming her ass off in the background and for some reason it makes me frustrated.

"Oh give me a fucking break, Black. You call me every fucking five minutes! Don't get mad just because I don't want to fucking talk right now," I say clipped.

"Fuck you, Cullen! Listen, my car just got towed so I need you to pick me up."

I hate my life.

"You're fucking delusional if you think I'm picking your ass up. No way I'm going to spend another hour with you," I say, chuckling humorlessly. The girl in the background has not shut up and I have a theory that she's yelling at Casanova over here.

"Edward, I'm serious. Please come pick me up. I'm at Target; the one we always stop at," he pleads.

I sigh. Okay, so I have two options here. One, I can be the nice polite boy my father taught me to be and go pick the fucker up. Two, I can hang up on him and turn off my phone and let the music take me away.

If I was being honest with myself, the latter sounds more appealing than anything in this world right now. I love the guy, but I love my peace and quiet more. But me being Edward Cullen, I make a U-turn and head to the Target I just passed up.

"I'll be there in like, five seconds you prick." I faintly hear his laughter before ending the call.

I pull into the parking lot, while muttering a few curse words. I slow down the car, trying to look for him. When I find him, I quickly drive over to him seeing as a woman is about to rip his head off. I park my car and car out running over to him.

"Lady, I did you a fucking favor. That car was a piece of shit, and I just gave you an excuse to get the car out of your sight!" he shouts.

"Kiss my white ass you fucker! How the hell am I gonna get back home and where the fuck am I going to put my ass ointment?"

Did I mention how much I hate my life?

"Just put the shit on your ass now and then walk home! It'll do you some good," he shouted, throwing his arms around.

That was definitely low. I mean come on, she wasn't fat at all really. She actually looked in shape. But obviously she thought differently.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, as if it would erase these two idiots from my sight. But as I heard a thump and a loud groan from Jake, I opened my eyes a second too late to see what happened.

But Jake on the ground cupping his balls was enough to know what she did.

"Fuck you!" she yelled.

If I was a passerby, I definitely would have laughed my ass off. But unfortunately, I wasn't. Instead, I was actually a part of this mess. So I walked over to him and helped him get up. I settled with letting him lay in his misery when he refused to get up.

"What's the problem ma'am?" I asked, rubbing my temples.

"His fucking existence!" she screamed looking at him. I gave her a second to recollect herself before pushing for an explanation. She crossed her arms and sighed, "I was pulling out of my spot and he just comes out of nowhere! He just tried to drive right pass me, even though I was right in the middle of the fucking road! The asshole had my car towed!"

Yeah, that sounded like Jake.

I sigh, closing my eyes. I'm in denial right now. This can't possibly be my life.

"Okay look, I'll give you a ride home. Just tell me where you live and we can get home," I sigh.

She eyes me up and down with a suspicious look on her face. "Is that the best you can do?" she huffs.

Um…

"Pardon?" I ask confused.

"You're not getting in mine, let alone any other girl's pants with that line. How old do you think I am?" she asks, sounding offended.

I'm not even surprised that that's the response I get from her. I sigh and run a hand through my hair, frustrated.

"Please, lady. I just want to get home and lay in my bed," it comes out sounding more like a whine.

"Just leave her here, with her ass cream," Jake mumbles, making her glare at her.

"I live in Seattle buddy. Unless you want to drive an hour there and back, please do. But somebody better be finding me a ride home because I have no car thanks to this asshat," she grumbles.

Jake rolls his eyes as he gets up and supports his weight on my car.

"I'm going back to Seattle too, so it's no problem. I'm Edward," I say, stretching my hand out.

She shakes it, but her eyes are still narrowed, "Nessie."

Jake's laughter comes from nowhere, making Nessie jump.

"Were your parents on shrooms when she named you," he says around his laughter.

"Oh, fuck you asshole," she spits.

I wave both of them over to Apollo. Once we're all in, I start the car and we're off. It doesn't take much time for Jake and Nessie to start arguing. It was true hell. I had been in the car with them for forty-five minutes.

"That sounds like a fucking dog name," she laughs when she finds out Jakes name while looking out the window. I can't help but crack a small smile.

"No it doesn't. You're just jealous because my parents didn't name me after the Loch Ness Monster," he said smugly.

"Nessie isn't even my real name. It's Renesmee, so jokes on you," she says jerking her head in his direction and glaring.

"Well somebody started calling you Nessie," he says with the smug smirk planted across his face still.

The only response she had was a certain finger at him. Then she was back to staring out the window.

She got out her phone and typed in the address and handed me the phone. I followed the directions and we were there ten minutes later.

"Why is it that you have a shitty car, but a nice house?" Jake asks.

"It's not my house, Pretty Boy," she says coldly.

"Oh, so I'm pretty? Even after fucking your car?" he taunts.

"Fuck off," she says, raising her voice. She turns to look at me, "Thanks a lot, Guy. Really appreciate it."

Before I can respond, she turns and leaves. I can honestly say I was more relieved than mad.

"What a fucking nut job, am I right?" he said, laughing.

"Jacob," I warn. He looks at me with his shoulder up and his hands turned up. "Shut the fuck up."

"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your… whatever," he says shrugging, not sounding sorry at all.

"Shut up, Jake," I shout, glaring at him. Today has been so stressed and I really don't have the patience for him or his meaningless excuses.

I drive over the speed limit, eager to get home and relax. Thankfully I don't pass any police cars. The rest of the drive to Jake's is pretty quiet aside from his horrible singing. It's not loud enough to piss me off, so I do my best to ignore him.

We get to his house a couple of minutes later and I get out with him, having to pee. I walk to his door and grab the key from the pot with the dead flower and unlock the door.

"I didn't even invite you in."

"Shut the fuck up Jacob," I mutter more to myself than him. But he hears me and lets out an 'ugh'.

I lock the door behind me and relieve my bladder of the pressure. Once I'm done, I wash my hands and splash cold water on my face. I dig through his bathroom cabinets and find a bottle of Advil.

"Thank fuck," I mutter.

I walk out to the kitchen, passing by Jake whose watching T.V and grab a cup from the cabinet filling it with water. I throw the two pills in my mouth and gulp them down with the water and finish the cup.

"Thanks for the pills," I yell as I approach the door.

"No problem," he mutters. He clearly has food in his mouth, which is not a surprise.

I walk to my car, swiftly getting into it. Today has been so stressful, I would be pissed but not surprised if I saw my first grey hair tomorrow morning. I decide to go get a drink at the local bar. Of course nothing alcoholic – just a drink.

I pull into the parking lot and park Apollo as far as I can, not trusting anybody here. Walking up to the door, I hear the music and the loud laughter as I enter.

"What can I get ya'?" the lady asks once I settle in my chair.

"Um… just a coke," I say. She chuckles lightly and takes the short walk to the fridge behind her, grabbing a coke.

"Thanks," I say, throwing a five down. I open the can, and take three gulps. I'll be scolding myself for this later, but right now I just drink.

"Rough day?" a voice beside me asks. I turn my head a see a woman with blonde hair says, smiling apologetically.

"Ridiculously rough," I say sighing.

"You know, you'd think a guy would come for a little alcohol, not a coke," she says laughing.

"Yeah, I'm not really your typical guy," I say smiling, while eyeing my red can.

"I'm Tanya," she says. I look at her and smile shyly.

"I'm Edward Cullen," I say, silently thanking her for not offering her hand.

"So, what do you do?" she randomly asks. I'm instantly on alert. Why is she asking me what I do for a living? Is this a ply to get my money? She sees my hesitance and comments, "What, are you a hit man or something?"

"Or something," I say laughing lightly. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her drink.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly.

_Do I look okay to you?_

"Yeah," I lie. "Today's just been really… long," that's not a lie.

"I can help with that," she says after a moment.

My eyes widen and I look at her to find a seductive smirk on her face, "Um – no thanks." I look back to my can and take a drink from it. This wasn't such a good idea.

"You sure?"

"Quite," I say shortly. How dare she offer herself to me like that? I understand and truly consider the possibility that her past life has been rough, but it does nothing to ease the shock and irritation I have with that offer.

"Well if you need me, I'll be in the back," she says quietly before walking behind the bar to the back.

I sigh and shake my head while my eyes follow her form disappear out the back. Well, it seems my time with Isabella has not eased my reluctance to talk to woman. I guess in cases like this, it makes me glad that I have that problem.

I take another swig from my can and sigh, leaning back in my chair. Today has been unbelievable. And that says something coming from me.

"Sorry about her," the bartender says. "I'm Irina."

"Edward," I say, rubbing my can with my thumb.

"Rough day?"

Did she not hear my conversation with her friend?

Sighing I answer, "Yep."

"Sorry to hear that." She doesn't sound sorry.

"Thanks," I say. She takes the hint and moves on to her next customer. Just as she turns around, Tanya comes back out and sits right next to me.

"Hey," she says with a smile

"Hi," I say quietly.

"I hope I didn't offend you. You know, with the offer," she says smiling apologetically.

I look at her to see if she's lying and she has a apologetic smile on her face. Not only that, but it seems like it's real. But what do I know? I just met the girl five minutes ago.

"It's fine," I say looking back down to my can.

"Where are you from, Edward?"

I resist the strong urge to sigh and just walk away. Reluctantly I answer, "I'm from Forks, Washington."

She hums while nodding her head, "I'm from Alaska."

"Must be cold up there," I say, trying to make talk.

"Yeah…"

Why the fuck is she still here? This is going nowhere.

"You look familiar…" she says eyeing me.

"Oh… That's weird," I say awkwardly.

"I feel like I saw you in one of those business magazines… Or maybe one of those parties. Like the ones rich company people go to?"

_Fuck._ This can't be happening. I had to get out of there and fast. Normally people didn't really recognize me this easily despite the fact that Cullen Corporation was a big and successful company.

"Uh – No, sorry. I wish I was though," I say, laughing nervously.

She eyes me suspiciously though, as if she doesn't believe me. I look her in the eye, trying to make her believe that I am not CEO of a big business. I mentally sigh when she huffs and shrugs, taking another drink of her drink.

"Too bad you aren't. I'd love to get a taste of him and his money," she says smirking.

Her comment angers me, but I know if I defend myself she'll know who I am.

"Hmm…"

She looks at me and is about to say something about my lack of response. I cut her off before she can utter a word and drink the rest of my coke.

"It was nice talking to you…" I say awkwardly.

"You too," she replies, eyeing my body.

"Thank, Irina."

"No problem hun," she smiles.

I smile and nod at the both of them before making my way through the crowd. I keep my head down, not wanting to risk the possibility of being seen by someone. Right before I walk out the front door, I see a group of men with cigarettes in their hands. I turn around and decide to take the back way out.

It's dark and quiet since not a lot of people take this way. I follow the red light that says , _Exit, _and place my hand on the metal door.

"I missed you, baby."

Ugh. This is the part I hate about taking the back doors. The possibility of running in to a couple having a quickie.

"Royce, I said stop following me."

Her voice and tone stops me in my tracks.

I know that voice. I'd recognize it anywhere, but for some reason I can't seem to put a name on it. She sounds mad, and she sounds scared. Which is weird; I have not once heard fear come from this girls mouth.

"Excuse me?" the man says. "How many times do I have to tell you?" She doesn't answer. I hear a grunt, "Huh? How many times?" he says. "What did I tell you?"

I want to move. Jesus fucking Christ I want to move. Everything about this man – his tone, his can't move.

"I'm yours and only yours," she says. It's barely over a whisper, and I'm surprised I actually caught it.

There's scuffling and I hear the clank of metal. "Yeah, that's right," the man says. He's suddenly breathing heavy and the nameless woman is whimpering now.

"Royce, please. I'm not ready for this," she begs.

"I'll be the damn judge of that!" There's a beat of silence, before I hear his grunt and her quiet sob.

That's all it takes for me to run back to the door and smash it down.

I see his back, and when he hears the door open, he turns around and faces me with an angry look. It doesn't stop me. I grab his collar and throw him down. It's like I'm seventeen again, and I get in between my mother and father. I block out the screams; I ignore the prying hands on me rather than hitting them too. I block everybody and everything out and fight the enemy off.

I protect.

And I don't know how long I've been beating him, but I don't think it's long because he's on the brink of unconsciousness. I listen and become aware of my surroundings, finally able to hear the girl trying to stop me.

"Please! Some bodies going to take you, hurry," she says, obviously crying.

My breathing is erratic. I take my hands and unclench them and look around only to see garbage cans and a brick wall. I'm on my knees, straddling the man whose face is ruined.

"Get up, we have to go," she says, more angry as she clutches my arms. I look at her and get up, stumbling in the process. "We need to go; I hope you have a car."

I don't say anything; instead I take the lead and walk to my car as fast as I can while keeping her at a good distance.

"Hurry; he might get up," I manage to say. I don't even look at her. I know that voice anywhere, but there's a part of me warning me not to look.

I hear the clicks of her heels on the ground come harder and faster. We're almost there, just a couple more steps and we'll be right there. That is until, she trips. I look back at her and she's trying to get her broken heel off her foot. But we don't have time for this.

I walk back to her and crouch down, wrapping one of my arms under her knees and the other around her back. She gasps, but it doesn't stop me. We need to get her somewhere, she needs help. She needs something; her mother, father, a girlfriend.

I set her down when we get to my car, and open the door for her shutting it when she gets in. Running as fast as I can to get in the car, I zoom out of there.

"Where do I take you," I say frantically.

She doesn't speak though. And fuck, this day has been so fucking horrible it's not even funny anymore.

"Where the fuck do I take you?!" I yell, finally looking at her. I'm met with blue eyes, and long blonde hair. Her face is a mix of fear and loneliness.

"Just please – we need to get you help. Just tell me where you want me to take you," I plead.

She looks at me for a moment before answering, "I – I don't know the address." I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

"Can you tell me how to get their?" I ask softly and soothingly.

"Y-Yes… Just take a right down here… and go straight," she stutters. It's almost like she's afraid of me and it makes me feel like a monster.

"Listen I… I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I just… we need to get you somebody. Just…" I scramble to look for comforting words. "I won't hurt you… don't be afraid of me," I whisper, keeping my eyes on the road.

"You're Edward," is the only thing she says back. "Cullen."

I nod and avert my focus on the road. I can't deal with the fucking past right now. Sorry.

"I'm not afraid of you," she says quietly.

I don't say anything else, and the drive is pretty silent other than the purr of my car. "The last house on the right."

I park my car in the drive way and turn the car off, quickly running to the passenger door. "Are you alright?" I ask, helping her out.

"I'm fine. He pinched my thigh pretty hard though," she says in response.

With one arm wrapped around her shoulders, I walk her slowly to the door of the house. I know, I don't know how many times, but the idiots don't answer.

"Fuck," I mutter.

Clenching my fists, I bang my fist on the door. Finally, it opens and a huge guy with a bat is on the inside.

"Took you fucking long enough," I mutter angrily. He hasn't even acknowledged the girl on my side. But when he does he drops the bat, making it clank loudly, and grabs her ushering her to the sofa.

"What the fuck happened?" he growls angrily. Suddenly the light turns on and I look to my right, gasping lightly when I see the person on the other side of the room.

Isabella.

Thankfully, it does little to hinder my focus. I avert my attention back to Emmett and explain.

"Some guy hurt her. She told him to stop but he didn't, that's when I stepped in," I said lowly. Just thinking about it made me angry.

"I'm fine. I just – I need a moment…" she says, exasperated. "Let me take a shower."

Isabella takes her and goes to her room, while Emmett follows them with him eyes. "It was him wasn't it?" he asks.

"…I don't know."

He walks back to the couch and rest his elbows on his knees, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck," he whispers.

I decide not to say anything. I mean what is there to say? I haven't talked to the man in ten years and I have never had a civil conversation with him in my life.

"Thank you." I open eyes and catch him staring at me with a thankful look.

"For what?"

"For saving her," he says, like it's obvious.

"I…" I sigh running a hand through my hair. "I didn't do it for you."

Thankfully Isabella comes from the bathroom, saving me from an awkward conversation.

"Is she alright?" I ask, softly.

She sighs, putting her hand on her hips, "She says she is. Her thigh is purple, from where he pinched her."

"Fuck, I should have gone with her. I knew she was going to see him, and I didn't do shit," Emmett says, brokenly.

Bella walks over to him and wraps an arm around him, whispering things into his ear. And I feel like I'm invading a private moment.

Clearing my throat, I speak my goodbye, "Please… just tell her I hope she's okay and… if she needs anything, I can get it to her." With that I smile and walk to the door.

I need to get out of here. What I see here makes me depressed, it makes me feel cheated, it makes me angry.

I truly am glad that Rosalie has people looking after her. But it makes me mad at the same time. My mother never had anyone to comfort her. She never allowed us to see her after he was finished with her. But she had no one. And after he was through with me, there were no words that could be spoken to comfort me. There was nobody.

"Edward, wait!"

I turn around and rest my hand on the top of my car and the other on the door. Isabella, walks towards me and stops when she's in front of my door.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah… I mean despite the obvious…" she says. "I just wanted to thank you. For getting her out of there."

I sigh. When will they understand that I didn't do it for them? "I didn't do it for you…" I mumble.

She looks at me for a second, "Y-Yeah…guess not. But I'm still thankful for that." she says smiling shyly.

"Yeah…" I say quietly, with a small smile on my face. "Do you think she'll be alright?"

"I can't be sure. I hope; I'm going to be keeping an eye on her, making sure she's okay," she says frowning.

"That's sounds good," I say nodding. When I look up, she's looking at me curiously. "What is it?"

She shakes her head and looks at the ground, "What?" I try again.

She sighs and finally answers, "I just… You're still trying to get over the past right?"

I should have known. Slowly I nod.

"I just think… Why did you do it?"

I look at her confused. What is she talking about? Why did I do what?

"Why did you save her, when you're still hurting?" she asks quietly, not meeting my eyes.

What? I still don't get it. I dig deep in my mind, trying to make sense of the question. And when I do, my anger is ridiculous.

"Excuse me?" I ask shocked. "Isabella, she got raped tonight. Do you really think I walk away, letting him hurt her just because she ruined my high school years? Do you think I'm as childish as you four were? How dare you ask such a question? I saved her because she was getting hurt. And although I still am trying to move on from the past, I will not or ever tolerate anything like what happened tonight," I say, fuming. Isabella looks at me taken aback and fumbles for words.

I beat her to it. "Don't call."

I drive off, keeping my eyes from the rear view mirror.

* * *

_I'm finishing this on a Monday. First day of school was good! I left my text books and binder in the band hall, so I need to pick that up tomorrow. I had a summer reading book to read, but I didn't read it and we have a test on it tomorrow! It's called Ender's Game._

_Please tell me what you think. _

_Fanfic recommendation – _Bella Swan: Kidnapper, _by Kambria Rain._

_Um. Hi. I don't really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I still don't own twilight. **

_Much love to my beta, MissRainbow13!_

_I want to start this off by apologizing. I am so sorry for not updating. I honestly feel like garbage. I am so sorry. I promised that I wouldn't let it happen and it's been three weeks. Yes I'm busy, but I would be frustrated if I were you. I am very sorry and I'll try harder to update every week._

_Please forgive me, I truly am sorry._

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 8

I stared at the ceiling with a small smile on my face. I felt happy. And really fuckin' relaxed. Maybe it was the good night's sleep; I don't know but I really wasn't too worried about it. It felt good.

Yesterday was one of the most stressful days I ever had. Fucking hell it was horrible. Jacob, that crazy lady that was named after the Loch Ness Monster and then to top it off, Isabella's shitty comment.

Okay, maybe I did over react when she said that. But she couldn't honestly think that I would take such an insulting question lightly. What the fuck? Did she actually see me as some prick how couldn't get over the past? So much that I would let another girl get raped?

_Hmm… what to do today_, I thought to myself.

Well… I could go for a run. I hadn't been to the gym in a long time and I was dying for a trip. I could go grocery shopping after that too. My fridge was quickly getting empty. Maybe I could hang out with Jake too, see if he's doing something later. Holy fuck! I could get –

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"FUCK!"

I pant and relax when I realize it's my alarm clock. My heart beats a mile a minute and raise my hands to my eyes rubbing and tugging my hair. I look to my left and glare at the thing that I stupidly plugged in again since that morning I went t breakfast.

I slam my hand harshly onto the clock, putting an end to the piece of shit. I stretch and get out of bed shivering at the cool air on my naked chest. Once I get to the closet, I look through my clothes wondering what I should wear.

I make up my mind and throw on a pair of Adidas soccer sweat and an Adidas hoodie. And to be matching one hundred percent, I put on a pair of Adidas socks and shoes.

I stop in my track on the stairs when I realize I have nothing to do yet. I frown and think over my options.

A light bulb clicks and I've got my phone by my ear in no time.

_Huh… who would have thought of me calling Alice to hang out?_

"Good morning my dearest brother," her teasing voice greets.

"Morning ya' little pixie. Listen, I've got to run some errands so I was wondering if you could come with?"

I rummage through my fridge, once again finding nothing I like. It is getting pretty empty… This isn't acceptable.

I hear no response from Alice longer than I think and I frown.

"Did she fucking hang up on me," I mutter.

"I'm right here asshole. Sorry, I was busy. Yeah sure. I'll be right there."

We hang up and again I'm left with nothing to do. What the fuck is up? I never have anything to do.

_Or any_one_ to do, you selfish prick,_ my dick scolds. It's true. I haven't had sex in a while and the only time I touch my dick is when I clean it in the shower. Geez… that's sad.

My eyes catch my piano, and I feel like it speaks to me. I can just imagine it. It's eye would flutter looking at me seductively silently pulling me to it. I shiver at my thoughts, getting creeped out by how weird my thoughts are this morning.

I sit in the black polished benched and smile.

"Hey there…" I lift the fallboard exposing myself to the white and black keys. I laugh evilly and rub my hands together wiggling them. Setting them on the keys, I close my eyes and let go.

The music is soft. It's calm and it comes straight from my head. I start it off slow and calm, letting myself relax and be taken by it. Soon, it gets more intense; a more meaningful feeling. It gets soft again, and this time I can feel something. Like this part means more than I think it is. I close my eyes and listen as the music softly and quietly elicits from the piano.

Eyes the color of chocolate and hair like a horses mane pop into my head, making me snap my eyes open. I stop playing immediately and put my hands to my sides pressing on a few wrong notes in the process.

I know those eyes.

I narrow my eyes and think hard. I couldn't be what I think it was. Fuck. No. It was probably… whatever. Yeah, it was whatever.

I sigh and shake it off, remembering that I'm mad at her and, as far as I know, will never call her again. I don't need her. _Or_ the shit she makes me put up with. I'm a grown fucking man. I've throw the girl too many curve balls and it's time that I stopped. No more Mr. Nice-Guy.

"Well that was a beautiful ending," Alice snorts from behind.

I jump up from the bench jumping once and make it fall earning a loud clank making us both jump this time.

"God damn it, Alice! You scared the shit out of me," I exclaim, glaring at her as I pick up the bench. She snorts, letting it turn into a laugh.

"Sorry," she says chuckling at the same time. "I just saw your fridge."

"Congratulations," I mutter sarcastically as I pick up the fallen sheet music.

"Yeah… but there's nothing in there. We should go grocery shopping," she says still smiling.

I get up and walk to her quickly kissing her cheek as a greeting and walking to the kitchen.

"Yeah I know. We can do that first. What car do you want to take?" I ask looking at her expectantly.

"Whatever is fine," she says with her eyes raised and shakes her head.

I grab the keys to my 2014 Audi Q5 since where going grocery shopping. Patting her on the head with a playful smile, I walk out to the garage and unlock the doors climbing in quickly.

"So what's on the list?" I ask as I press the button to close the garage once were out. Getting out of reverse, I put it into drive and we're off.

"Well, I was thinking we could get you some more fruit since I know you can't live without it. I know you like to cook, so maybe you can have grilled chicken one night. I don't know, we'll see when we get there," she says while channeling through the radio stations.

"When do you go back to work?"

"Next Monday. I took off two weeks."

"Isn't that almost impossible?" she asks shocked.

"Yeah, it was hard. I had to work ahead of time so that I wouldn't have much to do when I came back."

She finally finds a song and starts humming along with the lyrics. I turn on the heater and stop at the red light.

"So do you have any new designs yet?"

She squeals at the mention of her designs, "Yes! Winter Fashion Week runway show is going to be somewhere around January. I'm so excited," she says smiling.

I smiling at how young and happy she looks, "Wow, that's pretty close. Where's it gonna be this year?"

"Paris. I already told mom. I don't think she's going though. Are you going to go?" she looks at me hopefully.

My smile twitches and I fight to keep it on. I don't want to upset her. Alice has been a fashion designer for a while now and she absolutely loves them. Honestly, I have never been more proud of her.

"I'll see if I can. But it's going to be hard, Alice."

"I understand. If you can't make it, it's okay," she says smiling. I look into her eyes and see that she's telling the truth. I'm about to ask her what's up when she explains. "I know I'm going to have a ton of fun there whether I have company or not. I just love it so much that the thought of going alone doesn't really bother me."

I stare at her in disbelief with my mouth slightly open. The honk behind me catches my attention and I press on the gas pedal, surging forward.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," she says laughing. She turns and looks out the window and starts humming again.

We get to the grocery store and park before heading our way inside. I grab a cart and follow Alice inside. Alice leads me to the vegetable isle and starts asking me what I want.

"I need carrots, broccoli and lettuce." She grabs the carrots and I make my way to the lettuce grabbing the right one and putting it in a bag. I put it in the cart and grab the broccoli.

"So I've been thinking about what you suggested…" I start.

We walk in the meat section and I stand by letting Alice look for the chicken.

She looks at me then back to the meat, "Oh…"

I hum in agreement and look at her. "About what?"

I sigh and smile lightly, "Well, it gets a bit lonely in my house. You know with it being gigantic with only one person living in it…" I say teasing.

"Well, you could always find a lady…" she sings. "Mom's tired of waiting and I kind of am too. You know, I feel like you're going to find her really soon Edward," she says.

I laugh at her joke and then look at her. And she isn't joking. "Okay Mrs. Cleo," I say laughing.

"Tease me all you want, but I know it'll happen," she says smugly. "But the pet idea I perfect. I think it would reduce your stress. And you're not at work _too_ long… Jake could always watch it though," she says smiling hopefully.

"We could stop by the animal shelter after this…" I say leaving the option up to her. How weird? Letting my sister decide if _I_ should get a pet…

"Yeah, we should," she says nodding excitedly.

The next hour goes by quicker than I thought. Probably because Alice wants to get to the shelter quickly. We grab everything we need for the house and I pay at the counter and within an hour or so we're on our way to the Seattle Animal Shelter.

I was being completely honest with Alice. I really did want some company at my house. I was always alone, doing nothing most of the time. There was really nothing to do. And acknowledging this fact made me realize that I didn't socialize a lot at all. Outside of my family – which included Jacob – I had no friends.

Should I even _have_ more friends? I didn't know shit about that stuff. I was alone the majority of my life. And when I say alone I mean it. My mom and Alice weren't there for me and that's because I never revealed how severe the bullying and the beating were on me. I brushed them off and reassured them each time. And it wasn't that they didn't care. They didn't fucking _know_, so how could they? I isolated myself from them and kept them far away from the truth. And it worked, but also took a toll.

"Hi, what can I do for ya'?" a man asks us once we enter. He wears a white shirt that's tucked into his khaki jeans. He looks like he's around seventeen and he wears a huge smile that lights his eyes up.

"I'm wanting to get a dog… or cat. Or maybe something else. It doesn't matter," I say awkwardly.

"Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Niall; I can show some of the animals we got here. Do you have an idea what you want?"

"Um – no, not really. I kind of want something playful. And I want it to be young," I say nodding.

"Alright, we got that here. So I can show you the playful animals we got here and you can decide what you want from there. How's that sound Sir?" he ask with a kind smile.

"That sounds great." Smiling at his eagerness, I follow him. We don't go outside, so I guess he won't show me the dogs yet. He leads Alice and I to a room filled with cages and when I look in I see a long furry animal with a hunched back.

"These are ferrets; they're really playful. But they can be a bit of a hassle. They can fit into really small spaces, so I could be a bit hard to find them if you've lost them. I think that almost all of these babies have been de-scented. Which means they've gotten their anal glands removed. And they nibble as babies, but you can train them not too so…" He says all of this while playing with three of them with a smile on his face. "Ok, next."

"Those are so cute," Alice says looking back at the room. "Did you see them cuddling? Oh God, that was so precious."

I laugh and follow Niall, who leads us to another room with cages. I already know it's filled with cats before I see inside because of the light meowing from a certain cage.

"These are your cats," he says smiling excitingly. "Some of them are really playful and some of them are just lazy. But the most playful ones I've ever encountered are Bengals," he says looking at me and Alice then back to the cats.

"Can you take to some?" Alice asks, eagerly.

"Of course," he says smiling widely. He walks in front of us and looks back a little when he speaks, "We only have a couple. It's hard for us to get them, I'm not sure why. We just don't get a lot here. But… here they are," he says letting us explore on our own.

I nod and walk to stand by Alice whom is cooing at the cat. There's only five cages, and when I do a quick check on each one I notice that four of them are old and sleeping and the fifth on is a baby… and is definitely not asleep.

She has the most hypnotizing brown eyes I've ever seen and her fur is an elegant mixture of brown and darkish spots. Her ears poke up and her cold paws are soft and smooth against my finger.

When I walk up to the young kitten, it meows and rubs its cheek on the cage bars. Smiling, I stick my index finger in the cage and watch her. She smells it and then bites it with her sharp teeth. I notice a blanket on the bottom of her cage and remember something that an old friend use to do. Reenacting what he did all those years ago, I put my fingers under the blanket and move them around. Her dark pupils dilate and she crouches down before leaping and digging her claws into the blanket.

I laugh out loud, causing her to sit back and cock her head to the side. And just like that, my choice is already made before we've even finished. I don't even want to see the puppies or the ferrets or guinea pigs or what the fuck ever.

This pretty kitten was mine now. All fucking mine.

Interrupting Niall, I cut to the chase, "I want this one."

Niall looked at me and stopped what he was saying, "Y-You haven't even seen the other animals…"

"I know. But I don't want to. What's her name… She _is_ a girl right?" My voice is rushed and I check the sticker on the side of her cage, but only see her age, gender and what kind of cat she is. One month old, female and obviously a Bengal.

"Yes Sir. Are you sure you want this one? We just got her very recently, so you'd have to have her checked by a vet. And she needs her shots. I mean, I can show you the other animals if –"

"No thank you, Niall. I'd like her," I say smiling as the kitten crouched down and wiggled her bum before pouncing on the blanket.

"Aw, she's so cute," Alice squealed next to me. "And she's only one month old!"

"Can you tell me about the Bengal breed, Niall?" I ask.

"Oh, yes Sir. Let's see, they're extremely affectionate with family and are kid and pet friendly. They are very easy to groom and shed less than average. They have a fairly good health and are _highly_ intelligent. They are very playful, and don't vocalize too much. Their meow is very distinct; it's not like the others."

I look at Niall and see him looking at one of the big cats in amazement. His own intelligence intrigues me and I already like him.

"Oh! And they're extremely beautiful, but that goes without saying," he adds chuckling. He backs away from the cage and looks at me, "Okay Sir. I can get you out of here with this beauty in less than twenty minutes if you really want her," He says smiling and sighing.

"I really want her. She doesn't have a name yet?" I asked. Her sticker was missing a name, while the others had them.

"No, Sir. Like I said, we just got her. I don't know exactly when, but I heard it was a couple of days ago. She's only a month old. Anyway, why don't you and your sister take a seat in the front and sign and pay for some stuff and I'll get her all prepped and ready for you?" He smiled at me and held his hand out.

After a second hesitation, I took his hand and smiled at him. "Thank you," I said quietly, but genuinely. His smile was still on his face and it seemed like he'd die before he lost it. He walked out a back dor while we walked out the one we came in, towards the front.

"Oh my _God_! I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so excited! You just got the cutest kitten I've ever seen!" Alice exclaimed. "This will be really good for you, Edward. I know it will," she said smiling.

I smirked, unable to hide my pride, "Yeah… I _did_ just get the cutest kitten in the world."

Niall brought my beauty out and in a small cage. And after a short check of everything, we were out of there and it was only 11:43.

"Alice, will you drive?" I asked, not even bothering to look at her. She nods and takes the keys from me as I settle in the back seat with…

"What should we name her?" I ask Alice, watching the kitten sit and look out the window behind me.

"She's your cat, Edward. Name her something you like… Not litterally, Edward. Just – I don't know, a pretty name that fits her," she says shrugging.

The first name that came to mind was, _Boo. _I examined the kitten and wondered if it suited her. I couldn't think of any other name to give her, and she did kind of look like one. Yeah, it was a little simple and maybe cliché, but I liked it.

I bent down and rested my cheek against the bars and stuck a finger in between two of the metal slats. "Boo…" I cooed. She did this weird meow – like a mixture of a purr and an actual meow – and rubbed against my finger.

I smiled and laughed through my nose staring at her eyes. She continued to rub against my finger and only stopped when I moved it under the blanket. Her pupils dilated and she bounced up when I moved the blanket.

It wasn't until then that I really believed what everyone else told me. This one kitten relieved me of all my stress and made me smile wider than I had in awhile. Thinking about Boo made me realize that I needed stuff for her at the house.

"Alice! We need to stop at Petco," I said frantically.

"Oh yeah, she doesn't have anything. Okay, you want to go to this one over here," she pointed to the right, "Or the bigger one?"

"Let's just stop at this one," I said looking out the window, but quickly bringing my attention back to Boo.

We pulled in the parking lot and I opened Boo's cage, taking her small form in my big hands. I pulled her to my chest and kissed her forehead, smiling when she looked up at me with her brown eyes.

"I'm gonna go look at the animals." She was already gone before I could respond.

"Looks like it's just me and you, Boo," I said quietly. I made my way down the cat isle and found a bunch of toys.

"New pet owner?" a voice came from my side. I turned to my right and smiled at a young girl about sixteen.

"Yeah," I admitted, smiling.

"Need help?" Once again, I admitted. "The main thing they need is a food bowel, water bowel and a litter box. You could get them those giant cat posts, but I'd focus on the important for now," she said. I followed her, clutching Boo to my chest and thanked her when she put a litter box in the shape of a house in the cart.

"Should they eat wet food or dry food?" I asked, eyeing the canned foods with a cat similar to Boo on it. The other side of the shelf had bags of food, with description of what it had in it.

"I've heard from a lot of people that wet food is better. Dry is cheaper yes, but wet is healthier for them. My friend's cat died because she bought such poor cheap dry food. I'd go with wet if I were you," she says seriously.

"I feed my cat morning and night and give her small treats in the afternoon," she says.

I nod and look through the shelves of wet food. I see a tab that says, _Top Rated!_ and see its brand name, Wellness. Twenty dollars per fucking can. And those can are pretty damn small.

"Oh hell," I sigh. I do the math in my head to find out how much I need for a week and pick up fourteen cans. I set them in the cart and look up to find the girl staring at me with wide eyes.

"Um… Did you see the price on those?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. I nod yes and frown shrugging, "And… did you see how many you got?" she asks slowly, like I'm a child.

I laugh, "Its fine." I look down at Boo, who meows when we make eye contact. "I love you, too," I say kissing her head. "Okay," I say sighing, "what's next?"

She shakes her head and walks to the very end of the shelf and looks at bowels, "We have different designs. You can use the food can as a bowel, but you'll need one for water," she says smiling.

I grab a stainless steel bowel and place it in my cart, quickly bringing my hand back up to resume my caressing of Boo's furr.

"Okay so we have food, water bowel, and litter box. And what goes with a litter box?" she asks tilting her head to the side nodding and waving her hand for me to finish.

"Um… I –"

"Litter, Sir. What are they gonna put their droppings on?" she says walking to another isle. She waits for me to pick one. I look around and get a big plastic box of, _Tidy Cats_. It's heavy and my muscles flex under my shirt. Thankfully she's not staring when I look at her. I'm about to follow her when I see a scooper.

I grab it and place it in the cart following her. She leads me to a isle filled with toys for different kinds of animals.

"That's a Bengal right?" I hum yes. "Well, I'm sure they told you they're very energetic, so I recommend some toys. My absolute favorite is this monster," she says smiling and pulling out a laser pointer. I laugh and nod for her to put it in.

Along with that, I get a wand with a toy attached to the end of it, a fuzzy ball and a small mouse. I walk back to the food isle and get a bag of cat treats that helps with dental, while the lady takes the cart back to the check out center.

"You're cat is going to love you," she says, looking down and smiling.

"Why is that?"

"Because you got everything you needed in high quality and I don't know you, but I'm sure you're gonna be buying her one of those humongous cat trees," she says laughing.

That's a good idea…

I laugh and slide my card, letting is process. "Um… Is there any way I can tip you?" I ask. "You're really good – at your job. Thanks for helping me, I've never had any animal," I say smiling sheepishly.

She smiles widely and taps the tip jar that's beside her. I pull out a twenty and put the bags in the cart.

"Thanks. You really are awesome," I say smiling. She thanks me and I walk out. I place the bags in the car and put Boo back in her cage.

"I know, Boo. We're almost home, then you can get out," I say when she lets out a high pitched meow. I get in the car and put the key in the ignition, pulling out swiftly. Although something doesn't feel right…

_Hmm…_

I shrug and turn the radio on but lowering the music. Still, I feel like I forgot something.

Phone? I pat my pocket and sure enough, it's there. Wallet? I pat the other side and thankfully it's there. I remember putting my credit card back in and Boo is in her cage.

_What the fuck?_

Then my phone rings. And the caller tells me what I forgot.

"Oh shit," I whisper. I'm scared to slide it and can only stare at the ID.

Alice. She is going to shit a brick.

Sighing I slide my thumb, and I make a u-turn.

"Hello…" I say quietly.

"Edward Cullen, you get your ass right back here this moment!" I wince and mentally apologize to my ears for my stupid mistake. "How the hell could you forget your own damn sister at a store?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay? I'm on my way right now. Not long at all I promise –"

"I swear, if I don't see you in the next minute I'm going to fuc-"

"I love you, too!" I press the red button before she can finish and press a little harder on the gas pedal. Thankfully, she didn't call late at all and I'm there a couple of seconds after I hang up.

And boy does she look pissed.

She throws open the passenger door and climbs in. "What the hell, Edward?!"

"I'm sorry! I… forgot…" I say stuttering.

"How do…" she doesn't finish and instead grumbles and shakes her head.

I sigh and smile lightly, "I didn't mean to, Alice." I nudge her lightly and see her lips twitch. "Come on, I'd forgive you."

"You have the worst arguments ever," she says, but she smiles and I know I'm forgiven. "Asshole," she mutters.

I laugh and the rest of the ride is silent other than the soft music from the radio. We get home and I quickly park the car and grab Boo's cage with one hand while Alice gets the other bags.

"Watch her please?" I say running back to the car to get the grocery bags. In one trip, I manage to get everything there.

It's practically a work, how fast I put the food up. And when I'm done, I ball the bags up and put them in the recycling. Eagerly, I run back to the living room and silently thank Alice when I see Boo hasn't been let out yet.

"Welcome home, Boo," I say with a smile on my face. I open the cage and wait for her to come out. She's a bit hesitant at first, but slowly she crawls out, sniffing around her.

The next thirty minutes are spent watching Boo explore the room. Suddenly, Alice's phone rings and she picks it up to read.

"Ugh, I have to go," she says with a frown. "Felix is already at the gym waiting for me," she says kissing and petting Boo goodbye.

"Okay," I say. "You be careful. Love you." She rubs my shoulder and yells a goodbye. I run quickly to the front door and lock it behind her.

"It's you and me again, Boo," I say smiling. She meows and rubs her cheek against my knee. Reaching over to one of the bags, I grab the laser and put the batteries in. I press the small metal button to check and see if it works. When it does, I point it to where Boo is at.

She looks at it and stares, following it with her head. I move it closer to her and she jumps up and claws the floor frantically trying to catch it. I burst out laughing and move it more quickly, trying to get it away from her. I lead her to the wood floor and point it to the wall across the room. She runs as fast as she can and slides when she tries to stop, bumping her head in the wall.

I laugh and lead her back to me, picking her up and putting her on my chest when she gets to me. She purrs and walks on my face before jumping off and rolling on her back.

It was almost six when I grabbed Boo and brought her to the kitchen. I got out the chicken and took one out, getting out a pan and steamer. I opened the pantry and grabbed a can of Wellness and walked over to take the bowel. I grabbed the gallon of Ozarka water and pour the water in. I set it down right next to the table and opened her food with a can opener.

She sniffed it first and the licked it, testing it. She seemed to like it and I knew I had made a good choice when she finished the can and started to drink her water.

My dinner didn't take too long, and it was a little over six when I had my plate of grilled chicken, brown rice and broccoli in front of me. The only sound in the house was my chewing and Boo's tongue hitting the water.

It all felt different. I didn't have a real person living with me, but Boo's company was almost better. I loved the peace and quiet. And the light put me in a good mood.

The living room lamp was on, making it shine a orange-ish yellow and the light above the stove was on giving it a warm orange color. This house was too big, but it was perfect.

I washed my plate and put it in the dish washer, and then grabbed Boo and her water bowel. I walked upstairs and somewhere on the way she crawled up my chest and stood on my shoulder and managed to keep her balance. Still, I kept a safe hand on her if she needed it.

"Alright, Boo," I sighed. "Let's get your shitter set up."

So what, was I just supposed to put the litter in the box? Or was there more to it? Fuck, I was ignorant. Of course you put the shit it the box!

"Where do you want it, Boo? Ball's in your court," I said teasing. I looked over the room and walked into the bathroom, putting it in a corner. Boo followed me in, and I opened the Tidy Cats and pour a good portion in. "There we go," I murmured, getting up and picking Boo up, placing her on my shoulder.

The house was quiet, and I needed some noise. I threw myself on the couch and clutched her to my chest, putting the TV on. Boo walked off my lap and fell in a hollow pile of blankets, making her stumble a bit and her ears go back. I slouched in my seat and grabbed Boo by the scruff. She stretched her paws out, trying to reach me.

"I love you," I cooed, smiling and placed her on my chest which she stepped off again and stumbled on the blankets.

_Knock_.

_Knock._

_Knock._

Her pointy ears flew up and she was on alert. But so was I.

It was after six, and Jake would have told me if he was coming over. Alice should be resting right now and I couldn't think of anyone who could be coming over.

Regardless, I grabbed Boo and put her on my shoulder and didn't even bother putting a shirt on. Whoever was here wouldn't be for long.

But who the fuck _could_ be here? I had no friends, so what the hell? Nessie came to my mind, but I highly, _highly_ doubted that. My adrenaline was pumping through my veins by the time I got to the door and I looked out the peep hole.

"Fuck," I whispered. I jerked my head back and looked around me trying to think. Boo meowed and without looking at her, I stroked her back trying my hardest to think of a plan.

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

"Shit," I said frantically. I tried so hard to come up with an out, but ended with nothing. I couldn't escape her, and I needed to.

Rubbing my eyes and sighing heavily, I grabbed the lock and twisted it listening to the click. I grabbed the handle and opened it harshly.

It couldn't be her…

But I was met with brown hair and eyes, and it was her. Because my luck was fucking perfect. And when I saw her, I couldn't help but look her up and down. She was wearing a black hoodie that had a logo on the right side and jeans that traced her thighs and legs. Her black converse were dirty, but fuck she looked good.

And that fact was not good.

"Hi," Isabella said, shyly. I looked into her eyes and my breath stuttered as she let her eyes trail down to my naked chest, staring at the art on it.

I shut the door, making it slam and grabbed the Adidas hoodie on the bench. Boo didn't bother to move, and when I had the hoodie on she was covered and had her head poking out of the neck.

I opened the door again and saw her with her eyes wide. Nobody spoke at all. We didn't utter a word, just started at each other.

"Meow." Since neither of us had the balls to break the silence, Boo did.

* * *

_Okay, that's it. I was going to write more, but I have school tomorrow. Sad face._

_Review please! Tell me what you think. I'm getting braces tomorrow, so can anyone tell me if it hurts? I'm so nervous!_

_Fanfic recommendation – _The Lost, _by mamasutra._

_Bella Swan was not normal. She had been born with the gift of seeing the dead, but to her it was a curse. She had sworn off her abilities as she returned to her hometown to live out her final year of high school in an attempt at being normal, but nothing is normal when you are the one hope at redemption for the spirit of a lost boy. *paranormal romance & drama* beta'd_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: This is simply a work of fiction; I don't own Twilight.**

_Top of the morning…? It's morning over here and I'm feeling really responsible. Last chapter didn't get a lot of reviews, so I'm really hoping you guys will review today. I'm super anxious to know what you guys are thinking._

_I just want you guys to know that Edward is NOT a virgin in this story. I agree that's a bit too pathetic. Also, there was some confusion as to what sexuality Jacob is. He is gay. Fully gay… for now. _

_SPOILER! _

_Enjoy, and much love._

* * *

Chapter 9

Okay…

Totally wasn't expecting my night to turn out like this.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!_

What the fuck is going on here? I was having a great fuckin' time with my Boo and she comes and interrupts our bonding. And yeah, that sounds pathetic but me and my Boo _were_ having a great time. But no, if there is a God, he fucking hates me.

Fuck.

I whipped the hood around my shoulder, making it cover up Boo. But of course, her being Boo, she wiggled around until her small head poked through and sniffed curiously at Isabella.

I cleared my throat and stood there awkwardly. What do I do? Do I put my hands in my pocket? Do I leave them at my side?

I averted my focus to Isabella rather than worrying about where to put my fucking hands and put a serious expression on. She stands there, her eyes occasionally falling on Boo.

I took a deep breath, and tried to gather the courage to say something. But my spit went where it shouldn't be and into my trachea.

I covered my mouth with my hand and coughed frantically. Isabella's hands came up trying to find something that would help but I brought my other hand up and shake her off. Fucking finally, I calmed down and stopped coughing. I recollected myself and took deep breaths very carefully.

"Hi," I said after my moment.

"Are you okay?" she asked me. Her eyes were wide with concern and she looked serious.

I nodded and subtly shook my head in embarrassment. "I'm fine." Why was she here? Was it her goal to make my life harder by coming at my house at –

…

"How did you know where I live?" I asked, suddenly on alert. My body went stiff and my eyes went wide as well as hers. This was out of line. No-fucking-way was she going to stalk me and beg for another chance or whatever the fuck she wanted. I wouldn't be weak anymore.

"I called Cullen Corporation and asked for you – but you weren't there and I," she paused, shuffling on her feet and looking down, "I told them I was a family friend and she gave me your address."

Huh? Megan? Megan gave her my address… because she was convinced this girl was a family friend? She gave her my address… The address to my house. Where I sleep and spend ninety-five percent of my daily life at.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said, my voice getting higher with anger. "You think that you can just accuse me of being the prick you make me out to be and then just lie to my secretary to get my address to my fucking house?"

I laughed without humor and looked at her like she was crazy. But when I saw her I stopped my laughing, as a personal memory came back.

There she stood, my former bully, looking helpless. Her cheeks were crimson red, from embarrassing and her eyes were watery with tears. The she stood, looking like an outcast. Like me.

Instantly, my disgust and anger was on full force. The memory of what she did to me stung and hurt. And seeing her like this made me see what I looked like all those years ago.

I gently pushed Boo's head away to keep her from nibbling on my ear and focused my eyes over her shoulder, unable to look at her.

"You need to leave," he head shot up and her eyes went wide. She was seconds away from protesting but I interrupted her, "No. You need to leave. Now. What you said last night was completely out of line. I don't think you understand how much that hurt. And now you think you can just call whoever you want – fuck whoever it is – and take personal information. This has gone far enough Isabella."

Her head shook again and she spoke up, "Edward, please I –"

"No!" I exclaimed. "I can't do this…" I muttered to her shaking my head.

"Please, just listen –"

"I can't spend time with you. Maybe I am a coward but I can't do it. I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"Edward, please just listen!"

I stopped talking at her demand. What more could I say? Obviously nothing I said was getting through to her, so there was no point. All I could do was stand and listen.

It was silent for a moment. I guess she was surprised that I actually listened to her. But I couldn't meet her eyes. I kept them trained on the sky. I focused on Boo's purring as she lied on my shoulder.

"Please, just give me… fifteen minutes," she whispered hopelessly.

I sighed and thought about it. Finally, after so long, I looked her in the eyes to find that she had let a single tear fall down her cheek. I realized how strangely important this was to her. She was actually crying because I threatened to sever all ties with her.

And I had a god feeling that was the best thing I could do.

I shut the door and put my socks and shoes on. I took a deep breath and opened the door slowly and walked out, making sure to grab the keys to my house.

After putting a sleepy, warm Boo in the pocket of my hoodie, I spoke, "Come on."

She didn't hesitate. She was right behind me as I led her to my safe haven. Why I was taking her there, I have no fucking idea. It was the only place that calmed me, and right now that was what I needed. The sky wasn't totally dark, but dimly lit with the blue turning into purple-ish blue.

I put my hands in the pocket, grabbing Boo and kissed her head before placing her inside the hoodie. I kept one hand next to her securing her as she walked around. Somehow she managed to get in the back of the hood. I could feel the weight of her as she lied down and rested her head against my back.

The rest of the walk, I focused on her warmth and weight.

Soon we got to the forest outline, and I knew we were close. I stopped in front of it and smiled at the familiar place. It was where I went after Carlisle died, where I mourned my past. I ran here to get the peace I sought after. It never disappointed.

"Stay close," I whispered.

When I turned to look at her, she was clearly a bit apprehensive. I looked back to the forest and understood why. I was darker than the street, and you could barely see anything. But I had been here late at night and had gotten used to it.

"It's okay," I whispered looking at her. We locked eyes and I just couldn't look away.

I felt my stomach drop like I was on a rollercoaster and it was like someone had pressed a freeze button on my eyes, because I couldn't look away. I was entrapped in her gaze and while looking I fell in her chocolate brown eyes, noting how gorgeous they looked.

But it was short lived, only allowing it to last a couple of seconds I jerked my head away from her hypnotizing eyes. I put my focus back on where I was going, brushing off our moment we just had.

I made sure to be extra careful with Boo. There were lots of roots on the ground, but I could see fairly well. Obviously Isabella couldn't.

She stumbled on some roots and lost her footing, causing her to fall. My arms grabbed her before she could hit the cold ground. I stood her up gently, sure not to hurt her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded and look at me in the eyes again. "Thank you."

I nodded and walked two steps in front of her before turning back, "Come on." My hand extended out, offering her help and she clutched onto it tightly. I could still see fear in her eyes and I didn't want anyone to be scarred of me.

No matter what I had done in the past.

"Where are we going?" Her voice was quiet as she was breathing a bit heavy and her hold on my hand was tight.

"You'll see," I said chuckling.

She was about to say something else until she tripped again on a branch that I had walked over. I grabbed her yet again and tried to hold in my laughter. But she sighed in frustration, and made me throw my head back and laugh at her.

"Sorry," she muttered.

I tried to stop my laughter in but it came out again with a snort, "Be careful." I shook my head and grabbed her hand tighter again.

"What kind of cat is that?" she asked.

"She's a Bengal. I just got her today," I answered. Boo was still in my hood and I could feel the vibrations of her purring on my back.

"She's beautiful," she whispered in awe.

I stopped right in front of the meadow. I stared at the open space and scrutinized it. It looked the same as when I left it.

There were flowers and long grass everywhere and the moon shined the floor in a beautiful. The sky was completely rid of the sun and left no trace of the orange light. The starts were out and you could see every single one of them.

I let go of Isabella's hand and walked into the clearing sitting in the middle of it. I took Boo out of my hood and placed her in my lap. She arched her back and stretched. Her tongue poked out as she yawned.

"How did you find this place?" Isabella's voice came from my side. I turned to look at her and saw her walking towards us. She sat across from me and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I always come here. After I moved into my house I found this place," I said, keeping my eyes on Boo as she bounced and attacked the long grass.

It was silent again. And I knew I had to approach the elephant in the room, I just didn't know how. Instead I kept my eyes trained on Boo. She walked towards me and rubbed her head on my knee and turned to Isabella and did the same. She sniffed her and climbed into her lap.

Boo climbed off of Isabella after a minute and crawled into mine, shoving her nose in the pocket in my hoodie and making her way in.

Once she was settled, I began.

"Okay, I'm listening."

Isabella sighed and looked to her right. "I want to apologize, for what I said last night. And I want you to know that I don't think you're some prick who's unforgiving. It wasn't my intention to make you feel like shit. And I'm sorry," she said. Her voice cracked once or twice but she ignored it and kept going.

I didn't shake my head or nod. I didn't say anything. I kept my eyes on the floor and waited for her to continue. I was all ears and nothing else right now.

"I'm sorry for fucking it up once again. I want this to work, Edward. I," she whispered. She sighed I saw her look at me in the corner of my eye. "I just want to be friends. I don't want you to look at me a see me as the girl who fucked your high school years up."

I sighed. I knew this was going to happen. I could feel sympathy rushing through my blood and overwhelming me. But I wouldn't give in.

"Ok well first, I forgive you; for saying that. But I'm not sure about your offer," I said quietly. I knew how bad rejection felt.

"Edward –"

"Why do you want this so bad?" I had been asking myself this question for days. Why was this so important?

She didn't answer me as fast as she had. She looked at her shoes and sighed. But she looked like she knew the answer. "I just… I don't know. I want to get to know you. And… I know you might not like the sound of that but it's true."

I shook my head slowly and sighed. She wanted to get to know me; to be my friend. But did I? The only thing that stopped me from it was fear. Fear of hurt. Fear of betrayal. And one fear that was so bad it left a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn't let it happen. She had rejected me once and I was more than sure she would do it again if this were to happen.

Fear of falling in love.

If our relationship was to turn into something more, that would be dangerous. The lines would get blurred and it would ruin everything we would have worked for.

But this made me think about the things we _could_ work for. If we kept working we would get comfortable with each other. I could have another friend.

"I know you're scared," she whispered with her head down. "But I would never hurt you like I did before." I turned my head slight in her direction and listened closely. "Edward, I can't take back what I did back then. But I would give anything to be able to. You were right. I knew what I was doing; I just didn't care," she whispered.

Hearing her admit that she was wrong did something to me. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She actually realized that she was wrong and she did know what she was doing.

"What if I say no?"

She turned her head to me and I saw the fear and worry on her face. I kept my face composed and showed no sign of sympathy though.

"Then when we get back, I'll get in my car and I won't come back. I promise, you won't have to see me again," she whispered. "I promise you. I won't bother you again."

I was filled with dread instantly. Dread because I didn't want her to leave. The thought of never seeing her again was too much to bear. It should have been enough to make me say no.

But it wasn't.

And I was fishing for more information, increasing her chances of getting me. "I'm scared."

"I know. Me too. But I swear, I won't hurt you," she said hopefully. "Edward, please. I'm sorry, and I want to show you."

I couldn't take my eyes off of hers. Once again, I got lost in a sea of chocolate. There were so many signs yelling, screaming at me. Telling me to run. It was already happening. I was already falling in her trap and it hadn't even started. It was shouting at me to walk away.

If I walked away, I wouldn't have to see her again. I wouldn't have a reminder of the past and I would move on with my life as I did before. The signs were right in my fucking face. The dread of her leaving. Her beautiful brown eyes. It was all right there, and I acknowledged it but ignored it. And once again, I took a step closer to yes.

"You won't like what you see," I said. If she and I would grow close, she'd somehow find out about the beating. And what I was afraid of the most, she'd find out about the night I almost pulled the trigger. "You'll be running before you even get to the finish line."

"You can't scare me away. Nothing about you could make me run away," she whispered.

That comment right there should have sealed the deal. I should have already been up and walking. Instead, I held her gaze and kept fishing for more.

"Isabella, there's more to me than you think," I warned in a low serious voice.

I expected her to actually take a moment to think about what she was getting herself into. I don't know what else I could have said to make her back off. Instead she shook her head and answered, "I want to know every part of you."

Another comment that should have had me running home and handing her the keys to her car. But it was another comment that reeled me in. And I was almost in.

"I know it's going to take time to earn your trust. But it's time I'm willing to work for," she said confidently. "You asked me why I wanted this so much. And it's true, I don't know. But I know that I'm not trying to get close to you and to know you just to hurt you. I want you to trust me."

I looked at her and saw her. I mean, really saw her. She wasn't the girl I knew in high school. She was entirely different on so many levels. She had grown and no matter how much I tried to push it to the side, her beauty was breath taking. And I knew that over time, slowly but surely I would be able to trust her.

That was what I really wanted. Someone I could trust. Jacob was my best friend but I couldn't trust him with everything. And ever since Masen had turned on us, there had always been a wall between me, Alice and my mother. As much as I hated it, it just was.

So at the end of the day, I had nobody I could fully put all my trust into. The realization only hit me now as I talked to Isabella. It was utterly fucked up. I was twenty-eight and had no one to put all my weight on. And it was something that I had desperately wanted.

I had wanted to be wanted since Masen. I just wanted to be loved and I wanted to have someone who could be there for me. After all, I never really had anyone like that since Carlisle died.

It must have been the reason I said my next words.

"I'll try. But please understand that…" I swallowed and closed my eyes. "There have been things that have scarred me. Things that have nothing to do with you," I opened my eyes and looked at her with my piercing eyes. I tried to get her to understand what I was saying since I couldn't tell her what happened.

Finally I got a reaction that I expected. Her eyes widened and she looked from one eye to the other. But apparently, my warning wasn't enough for her to back out. Instead she nodded and said, "I understand."

I sighed. Clearly I failed at getting her to leave. Even though the thought of her leaving did things to me, I didn't think she should be friends with someone like me.

I stood up and stretched, reaching my arms in my pocket and petting Boo. I looked at Isabella who had a small smile on her face. After some hesitation, I reached out my hand and helped her up once she grabbed it.

I sighed and shoved my hand in my pocket, taking some of Boo's warmth. Isabella stood in front of me and we stared at each other.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

With that, I made my way to the tree line and was enveloped in the darkness. Other than the sound of our crunching feet and our breathing, it was silent and dark.

"Is this safe?" she asked warily.

I decided not to lie. "No."

She didn't reply. But I knew she was scared. I could practically feel the fear coming off of her. Being so blunt was part of my plan to try and keep her away from me.

After my truthful answer, she stayed close to me. And she didn't know it but she was following a rule that I mentally told her. If something were to happen, I'd be close to her. She wouldn't be touched by anything.

"Can you see?" she whispered.

"Yes."

I heard her sigh. Still I made no move to help her. Hopefully she would understand the message and change her mind. But what she did next was far from what I thought.

I felt something warm wrap around my hand. It clutched onto me like I was its life line. It couldn't be shaken off and its grip was tight. I looked down and saw a blurry white hand holding mine.

"I can't see," she whispered.

I looked at her, slowing down my steps. She was breathing a bit heavy and I could see fear etched into her face. Her nose was red from the cold and her eyes were wide. Her face was close.

"Is it childish to be scared?" she asked sheepishly.

I looked back at the floor and kept walking, "No."

I couldn't keep the cold façade on. It just wasn't me and I think we both knew it. She knew what I wasn't doing and it just made her want to try harder. So I stopped.

I slowed down my pace for her and switched her hand to my other so my left secured her back and the other held her to keep her from falling. Instead of watching where I was going, I watched were she was going and made sure she didn't fall.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," I whispered, looking into her eyes and quickly looking back at the floor.

"I know," she murmured.

There was a branch coming up and I walked over it but forgot to inform her. Her foot got caught on it and she went forward. Quickly going into action, I wrapped my right arm around her waist and tightened my grip on her hand.

"Fuck, sorry," she sighed frustrated.

"It's alright. I got you," I said reassuring her.

_Just an innocent touch. She fell, I was just helping her. That's all. That's all it is._

The rest of the walk felt shorter than it did on our way there. I kept my hand in her and my arm around her, and although it wasn't touching her it was close enough to feel the heat off of her.

We got to the street and stepped out of the tree line, approaching my house. My eyes adjusted to the dim light and I let go of Isabella's hand missing the warmth. And _only_ the warmth.

I sighed and moved to get my keys but quickly stopped. Was she just going to go home? Was she going to come in? What was I supposed to say?

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was only 9:30 and I had no work tomorrow or for the next week. Slowly I turned around and saw her standing there just as awkwardly as I was.

I had already agreed to her offer and we were going to be spending quite some time with each other. I might as well get used to it.

"I pretty cold out here," I said softly. "You can come in for some hot chocolate if you want…" I said, leaving the choice up to her.

Her eyebrows lifted and she looked at me. After a second she nodded, "Sure."

I unlocked the door and opened it, standing to the side to let her in first. She stepped in and waited for me to take the lead. The heater had been on while we were gone and while Bella sighed in content, my blood was running and I was hot.

"Come on, kitchen's over here," I said. I shoved my hands in my pocket and pulled Boo out placing her on the kitchen counter. I grabbed the neck of my hoodie and pull it from my body. And then I remember I had no shirt on.

I knew if I made a big deal out of it, I'd make things awkward. Avoiding eye contact with her and keeping my face void of any emotions, I walked to my room.

"I'll be right back," I murmured.

She probably thought I was acting distant. She probably thought I was pissed for her pressuring me. She probably didn't know that this was the real me. I could act distant if I truly was distant.

I walked into my closet and grabbed my H&M sweats changing out of my jeans and a black sleeveless shirt. Slipping my shoes off and putting them up, I slipped some Nike socks on.

"Fuck it's hot in here," I muttered to myself. I turned the fan on and made my way back downstairs. I could faintly here Isabella's laughter. When she came into my sight I saw her playing with Boo.

She looked at me and her smile faltered a bit when she looked me up and down. But she quickly recollected herself and smiled.

I grabbed two packs of my Starbucks hot chocolate and warmed them up with milk. After putting them in the microwave, I turned back to Isabella and Boo. She was holding her by the scruff and scratching her stomach lightly making Boo try and catch her hand.

I sat in a chair and Isabella looked my way with her smile. She brought Boo to her chest and came to sit in the chair across from me.

"You have a beautiful home," she said tentatively. Why she was so hesitant, I don't know. But she quickly added, "I'm not saying this to kiss your ass or – I'm not doing this to get money," she said quickly.

I frowned. Did she really think I thought that? I couldn't help it. I burst into laughter. She blushed and smiled, chuckling a bit.

"I know you aren't. Thank you," I said after I stopped.

We had nothing else to say, and she was obviously uncomfortable. That was just bad because she instantly made it awkward.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"You're making it awkward."

"_You_ are…"

"How am I making it awkward?"

"Because you're obviously uncomfortable."

"_You're_ uncomfortable."

"No I'm not."

"Well, I'm not either…"

I narrowed my eyes at her fighting a smile. She narrowed hers back and looked at Boo, kissing her head to hide her smile.

_Sassy…_

I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms.

"I you have a lot of tattoo's," she said I awe. She looked at my arms with admiration in her eyes.

"Yeah…" I said looking at them. Unconsciously, my hand went to the tattoo that said his name and I rubbed it.

Before I could hide it, she was already looking. I cleared my throat and shifted, putting my hands under my thighs. She had seen it.

She looked at me in the eye and I gave her a look that said 'don't bring it up'. Thankfully, she went back to caressing Boo's fur.

The microwaved beeped and I got up to take it out. It was hot, but I ignored the pain. I placed it in front of her and sat back in my seat.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"Mmm-hmm," I hummed.

Isabella placed Boo on the table and Boo walked around in a circle before yawning and laying down.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow?"

Her question was so sudden I froze for a second. I swallowed and blew on my hot chocolate.

I didn't even know the answer to that. Did I? More importantly should I want to? I looked at Isabella and studied her. And somehow I got my answer. It wasn't good, but I couldn't fight it.

"Yes."

She hid her smile by taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Placing it back down, she nodded and looked at me.

"What do you want to do?" I asked softly and quietly.

She didn't say anything at first and I didn't really notice. We kept staring at each other until one of us said something.

"I don't care…" It was barely above a whisper.

I laughed out of my nose and held her gaze. Of course she would say that. She took another drink of her hot chocolate and looked down with her red cheeks and smile. I watched as her thumb rubbed the handle of her mug.

"Come to my house tomorrow…" It came out as a demand, and I didn't like it. I internally cringed at how rude I sounded, "If you would like. We could do something else."

"No… No it's fine. I'd like to come over here," she said petting Boo with her smile still planted on her face.

I nodded. I stared at her face. "That sounds good then," I whispered. And I was fucked. I couldn't look away. There was something about this girl that made me crazy. I studied her face carefully examining each and every feature. She was gorgeous and I hated it. It was dangerous.

"I'm tired." Just like that, I was instantly distant; scared. This wasn't good at all. It wasn't healthy. And I'd be damned if I let it happened again. She looked at me questioning but said nothing.

"Okay. It is late," she said sighing. "Thank you for the hot chocolate…" she said softly. And her voice was velvety smooth it calmed me.

"You're welcome," I said. I lead her to the front door and slowly opened it for her making sure to unlock it. I walked out in to the bitter cold air. I was only in my sweat and sleeveless shirt.

I walked next to her and stopped when we got to her car. She unlocked it and opened it and did what I expected her to do.

She turned around and stared at me and spoke up, "Thank you." I'm surprised I could hear her.

But I did hear her and I was shocked. Why was she thanking me? She was giving me a chance to have a friend. To have someone I could trust and care about. She would be a _friend_…

So I had to thank her back, "Thank you."

She smiled and although I didn't show any emotion I knew she knew. She knew I was pleased with how this turned. My days of being too nice to her were over and I wouldn't make it easy. She didn't deserve easy, but I wasn't shutting her out.

As she drove off I followed her car with my eyes.

It was more. We were going to be friends, that was a given. But it was going to be more than that in time. It was the inevitable situation. It was going to happen. I was scared but I was already in too deep. I knew it and she definitely knew it.

It was why she offered and it was why I said yes.

* * *

_I actually liked this chapter. I don't know about you guys._

_Please tell me what you're thinking. I'm super anxious to know. And no Edward is not going to make it easy for her. Trust me._

_Review please. I seriously worked all day on this one. Thank you and I love you all._

_Fanfic recommendation – _Torn, _by Dooba._

_Bella Swan has survived a living hell, twice. She no longer speaks. Nobody ever listened. The Cullen family take her into their care. Bella fights to leave her past behind, but will she be able to let love in? AH M-rated for violence, content, language_


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